Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Friends forever.... or not?

What defines a true friend to you? This is what a true friend is to me..

Someone who is brutally honest with you, someone who loves you for the sake of GOD and only God, someone who you can laugh with and joke with. Someone you can sit in a room all day long and not have to say a word to make them feel comfortable. Someone you can tell anything to, someone who can keep a secret. Different people define friendship different ways, these are just some ways that I define a true friendship.

It takes me a while to get close to people. Not because I'm hard to get to know or I am anti social, but because I'm the total opposite of those two. I like to know how people act with others and how they think without me being so close to them. I do that by going to social events to other friends homes or simply inviting them over with other close friends and just seeing how their personalities shine.

That's what takes so long to build a nice foundation of a true friendship for me. I have a nice circle of "true" friends here in UAE. I've gotten to know some over many years; and others, we just clicked when we met. It happens.

I love that I can really trust them with my life. I love that they're always there for me if I need someone to talk to. I love how everything we tell each other stays with us. That's what I love about my friendships I've made.

Now... getting down to the dirty friendships...

This is what I can't stand.. It makes my stomach turn... In our religion (Islam) Our beloved prophet Muhammad (Peace and blessings be upon him) says this...  

The Messenger of God (Peace and blessings be upon him) said: "My entire nation is safe, except al-Mujahirin (those who boast of their sins). Among the Mujaharah is that a man commits an (evil) act, and wakes up in the morning while God has kept his (sin) a secret, he says: "O Fulan! Last night I did this and that." He goes to sleep while God has kept his (sin) a secret but he wakes up in the morning and uncovers what God has kept a secret!" [Saheeh al-Bukharee]

Abdullah Ibn Masoud (radiyallahu anhu) related, 'A man came to the Prophet and said: 'O Messenger of God! I have mingled with a woman in the far side of al-Medina, and I fulfilled my desire short of actually having sexual intercourse with her. So, here am I, judge me according to what you decide.' Umar Ibn al-Khattab (radiyallahu anhu) then said: 'God had kept your secret, why did not you keep your secret?' [Sharh Muslim]

This is a reminder for all of us.... 
Allahu Alam (GOD ONLY KNOWS) if anything you said was true.

Similarly, if one becomes aware of somebody else's sin, he should keep it a secret.
God's Messenger (Peace and blessings be upon him) said: "He, who relieves a hardship of this Dunya (world) for a believer, God will relieve (from him) a hardship of the Day of Resurrection; he who makes easy an indebted person, God will make it easy for him in the world and the Hereafter; he who covers a Muslim (meaning his mistakes and shortcomings), God will cover him in the Dunya and the Hereafter…" [Muslim]

Right above shows that in our religion it's a very big sin to reveal one of our brother or sisters' sins. I pray that with the friendships we do make in this world, they will be strong and never lead into backbiting of each other. Even if your friendship ends.

Recently I just read on a blog of someone who revealed things about a sister. Why did she do this? It doesn't make sense to me. How dare her! If it's true, that's between her and God and not the world. This person needs to look at her own life before backbiting about others. 

God has forbidden the believers from backbiting

O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, in deeds some suspicions are sins. And spy not neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear God, verily, God is the one who accepts repentance, Most Merciful. (49: 12)

Say to My servants that they should only say those things that are best, for Satan does sow dissensions among them, for Satan is to man an avowed enemy. (17:53)

Ending with these words...

Be careful who knows your secrets. Be careful who you trust. Be mindful what you do, cause Allah (God) sees all. Repent.

-Edited to remove names....


Sonia said...

assalam alaikum,

MashAllah what a great post! May Allah give her guidance and patience so she can deal with her issues in just and civilized manner. No one deserves to be bashed on public arena (which internet really is).

Texan in UAE said...

Aalia, when I see a injustice done to a fellow brother or sister, I will speak up. God knows I'm not one to keep my mouth shut (latina in me). ;) You should know that from getting to know me. :D

Aalia said...

i feel the same way -- i mean about defending someone who has injustice done. there are a million things i could & probably would say (but i know it's not allowed in our religion) but when it's AT ME from a FRIEND and IN PUBLIC?!?! i *had* to post something in my defence. and what better than Quran & Sunnah?? alhamdulillah, Allah Musta`an.

about YOUR post: wallah i appreciate it.. thnx <3

Twizzle said...

as-salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah,

yes, she went too far in revealing everything.

the sister has a whole mess to have to clean up now.

you and I talked about it and we decided it is best to remove names from our responses.

UmmKhaled said...

I love having my true friends in UAE...you girls are amazing and rare to find. Alhamdullilah for you and sisters! Awww <3 we are soo blessed!

And thanks for the reminder of some things. We should always be aware and treat others as we would like our loved ones and selves to be treated as well :)

InshaAllah everyone can always be there for eachother. I love you!

Umm Riyam said...

Assalaamu alaikum,

I agree that it was a good idea to remove the names. Great post. It is important for us to find out who our true friends are.

saimah said...

Asalaam Alaykum,

Great post! As we are not fully aware of the details of what has happened between these friends, we must be careful not to lay the blame on just one party. We do not know the ins and outs of what was discussed or what took place, hence we do not know the rights or wrongs of this situation. BUT I will say this...No matter what anyone has done or said, no one has the right to bash them in public, not only is it highly unislamic but also treacherous (this is someone who is a friend??...shamful - I beg the question...Is this what friendship means to you?) This should have been a personal issue between the people concernced to help, support and guide the person back onto the right path, not humiliate them on the web, this is a public hanging that no one should have been privy too! May Allah guide us all, we must remember only Allah has the right to judge. I am so greateful for my beautiful freindships may Allah protect us from the evil of people.

Miss MaryAnn said...

As Salaam Alaikum Habibti!!!

This is a wonderful reminder to us all and a very well-written post. I am glad you removed the names.

May Allah guide us all.

Texan in UAE said...

Saimah - I totally agree with you. This should be a reminder to all of us. When a person brings stuff out in the open (about the other) it's really sad and very deceitful. Alhamdulilah we have been blessed.

Yes - better leaving the names out.

I just know this will get uglier, before getting better.

Amina said...

^ awww, u're a cutie. I just read what you wrote under the "leave your comment". I just read this post and have no idea what everyone is talking about, but you know that I so agree with you. Backbiting is really terrible and we need to all be careful we don't fall into that trap :)

Jazaki Allah for removing the names :)

Lots of love,
p.s. I have so much catching up to do with your bloggy! So sowwwwy! i forgot the URL...

nidurali said...

A friend in need is a friend forever.

Good post

UmmKhaled said...

even so called true friends can abandon you...makes you wonder if there really are any out there. I think they are rare...because most people have other agendas and it hurts to find that out later after you thought it was real :(

Because life is beautiful.


Random LOVE UAE Mubarak UAE-TEXAS best friends happiness life texas Abu dhabi Amber - Birthday America Arabic language Arabs BIRTHDAY - Random BLOGGING Belief in Islam Bukoor and OUD CUPCAKES Candy - Mac and Cheese - Best Friends - Kool-Aid - Diamond rings Different languages Friends - Honestly - Islam Friendship - Family - Love~ juan Friendship - Love - BBQ'ing Germany Getting a maid... God - Faith - I miss you ISLAM - Muslim women's rights- Respect - Education - Money ISLAM - QURAN - sister - Islam - God - Islam - Seas - Embryonic Development Italy - friends - JESUS Jannah - Heaven - Paradise Jesus - God - Quran - Islam - Muslims Jummah LOVE - DUBAI - DAD - Jesus - ISLAM - Husband - Kids - Ramadan - PINK - Mother in law - snow LOVE ?Allah - god - ALLAH - ALLAH - Allah - love - LoVE - lOvE and LOVE Liars Love - life - charity MAKE-UP Mabarak Mabruk Eshnuk and Malik Maids Marriage - Weddings - Love - Happiness Mi amor Missing my son New York Oud - salwa - Kalemat PHOTOMANIA.... PMS - shoes - polish - waxing - Perfumes - Oils Philosophy Prayers Quote Quran Quran - God - Jesus Random... Roaches Shahda... Stay Trish Mcvoy - Mac - Aveda - Estee Lauder United Arab Emirates Vacation World Affairs amber amber's 17th birthday. azooz baba and azooz-good-bye blueberry muffins bread rolls- Chai breakfast cancer death - Sheikh Ahmed bin Zayed Al-Nahyan eid favorites feeling Nostalgic flowers - love - hope - wind good-bye home inspiration kids- random libya m missing family missing grandparents. mom - love mosha mothers and friendship movies - weddings - tantrums - hot white chocolate - Caribou mr jim glass my Mother my dad my daughter nonna old friends patience quotes rain random pics rawan secrets shahadah shopping - IKEA - sisters - love three years old