What defines a true friend to you? This is what a true friend is to me..
Someone who is brutally honest with you, someone who loves you for the sake of GOD and only God, someone who you can laugh with and joke with. Someone you can sit in a room all day long and not have to say a word to make them feel comfortable. Someone you can tell anything to, someone who can keep a secret. Different people define friendship different ways, these are just some ways that I define a true friendship.
It takes me a while to get close to people. Not because I'm hard to get to know or I am anti social, but because I'm the total opposite of those two. I like to know how people act with others and how they think without me being so close to them. I do that by going to social events to other friends homes or simply inviting them over with other close friends and just seeing how their personalities shine.
That's what takes so long to build a nice foundation of a true friendship for me. I have a nice circle of "true" friends here in UAE. I've gotten to know some over many years; and others, we just clicked when we met. It happens.
I love that I can really trust them with my life. I love that they're always there for me if I need someone to talk to. I love how everything we tell each other stays with us. That's what I love about my friendships I've made.
Now... getting down to the dirty friendships...
This is what I can't stand.. It makes my stomach turn... In our religion (Islam) Our beloved prophet Muhammad (Peace and blessings be upon him) says this...
The Messenger of God (Peace and blessings be upon him) said: "My entire nation is safe, except al-Mujahirin (those who boast of their sins). Among the Mujaharah is that a man commits an (evil) act, and wakes up in the morning while God has kept his (sin) a secret, he says: "O Fulan! Last night I did this and that." He goes to sleep while God has kept his (sin) a secret but he wakes up in the morning and uncovers what God has kept a secret!" [Saheeh al-Bukharee]
Abdullah Ibn Masoud (radiyallahu anhu) related, 'A man came to the Prophet and said: 'O Messenger of God! I have mingled with a woman in the far side of al-Medina, and I fulfilled my desire short of actually having sexual intercourse with her. So, here am I, judge me according to what you decide.' Umar Ibn al-Khattab (radiyallahu anhu) then said: 'God had kept your secret, why did not you keep your secret?' [Sharh Muslim]
This is a reminder for all of us....
Allahu Alam (GOD ONLY KNOWS) if anything you said was true.
Similarly, if one becomes aware of somebody else's sin, he should keep it a secret.
God's Messenger (Peace and blessings be upon him) said: "He, who relieves a hardship of this Dunya (world) for a believer, God will relieve (from him) a hardship of the Day of Resurrection; he who makes easy an indebted person, God will make it easy for him in the world and the Hereafter; he who covers a Muslim (meaning his mistakes and shortcomings), God will cover him in the Dunya and the Hereafter…" [Muslim]
Right above shows that in our religion it's a very big sin to reveal one of our brother or sisters' sins. I pray that with the friendships we do make in this world, they will be strong and never lead into backbiting of each other. Even if your friendship ends.
Recently I just read on a blog of someone who revealed things about a sister. Why did she do this? It doesn't make sense to me. How dare her! If it's true, that's between her and God and not the world. This person needs to look at her own life before backbiting about others.
God has forbidden the believers from backbiting
O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, in deeds some suspicions are sins. And spy not neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear God, verily, God is the one who accepts repentance, Most Merciful. (49: 12)
Say to My servants that they should only say those things that are best, for Satan does sow dissensions among them, for Satan is to man an avowed enemy. (17:53)
Ending with these words...
Be careful who knows your secrets. Be careful who you trust. Be mindful what you do, cause Allah (God) sees all. Repent.
-Edited to remove names....