Saturday, January 23, 2010

Your life is not complete until...

... you marry. There's a time in all our lives that we're going to be making one of the biggest decisions ever. This time will be when we marry. I would love to share this with y'all.

By getting married you are not just getting a wife/husband, you are getting your whole world. From now on until the rest of your days, your wife/husband will be your partner, your companion, and your best friend. She/He will share your moments, your days, and your years. She/He will share your joys and sorrows, your successes and failures, your dreams and your fears. When you are ill, she/he will take the best care of you; when you need help, she will do all she/he can for you; when you have a secret, she/he will keep it; when you need advice, she/he will give you the best advice. She/he will always be with you. When you wake up in the morning the first thing your eyes will see will be her/him. During the day, she/he will be with you, if for a moment she/he is not with you, physically, she/he will be thinking of you, praying for you with all her/his heart, mind, and soul. When you go to sleep at night, the last thing your eyes will see will be her/him; and when you are asleep you will still see her/him in your dreams. In short, she will be your whole world and you will be her whole world.

The best description that I personally have ever read describing the closeness of the spouses to each other, is the Quranic verse which says: "They are your garments and you are their garments" Indeed, spouses are like garments to each other because they provide one another with the protection, the comfort, the cover, the support, and the adornment that garments provide to humans. Just imagine a journey in the winter of Alaska without garments! Our spouses provide us with the same level of comfort and protection, cover and support in the journey of our lives on this earth as garments would do in the Alaska journey.  

The relationship between the spouses is the most amazing of all human relations: the amount of love and affection, intimacy and closeness, mercy and compassion, peace and tranquility that fills the hearts of the spouses is simply inexplicable. The only rational explanation for these most amazing of all human feelings is that: it is an act of Allah (SubHana Wa Ta`ala). Only God Almighty in His infinite power, boundless mercy, and great wisdom can create and ingrain these amazing feelings in the hearts of the spouses. In fact, God is reminding those who search for His signs in the universe, that these feelings in the hearts of the spouses are among the signs that should guide humans to His existence. 
As He says in the Quran: "And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquility with them and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: verily in that are signs for those who reflect." But the human heart is not a static entity, it is very dynamic. Feelings can and do change with time. Love may wither and fade away. The marital bond might weaken if not properly cared for. Happiness in marriage cannot be taken for granted; continuous happiness requires constant living from both sides. For the tree of marital love to remain alive and keep growing, the soil has to be sustained, maintained, and nurtured. Therefore, here are a few tips on how to keep the tree growing: 

Allah, most Gracious says about spouses in Quran (our holy book): Among His signs is [the fact] that He has created spouses for you among yourselves so that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has planted love and mercy between you; In that are signs for people who reflect. Qur'an (30 : 21)

May Allah (God) bless our marriages and let us only do good for each other and respect one another and love one another and worship only you Allah -  ameen


Sonia said...

Ahhh very thoughtful and deep, as always!

I often think about those who haven't found happiness in marriage meaning those who are in loveless marriage, those who are in abusive marriage, or those who haven't found life partners at all. My understanding is that such marriages, and no marriages is test from Allah. Not all of us get the ideal situation, ideal spouse, ideal anything in this life. Allah tests us with good and bad, and like a coin has 2 sides, our tests have both good and bad for us (as we make of it). If Allah blesses a person with a lot of good, person may derail from Allah's path by becoming boastful, if Allah tests the person with some sort of "bad" the person can turn it around and make it good by finding his way back to religion. May Allah give patience and perseverance to our sisters and brothers in deen who haven't found happiness in their marriage and those who haven't found their life-partners.

Miss MishMish said...


I think that a lot of people nowadays have this "ideal" set in their head of how married life will be according to what they see in TV and then when something goes wrong with their set "ideal" they want a divorce right away. They won't stay to make things work out. They won't seek a compromise. So many things.

This was such a beautifully written post, MashaAllah ♥

Ameen to your dua Sis


Anonymous said...

sister can u please send me your conversion to islam to my email

OmAbdullah said...

mashaAllah ! beautiful post !

Umm Riyam said...

Ameen to your dua. beautiful post ma sha' Allah.

Umm Riyam said...

Ameen to your dua. beautiful post ma sha' Allah.

Anonymous said...

mashallah.. this is really simple yet so beautiful! ^_^

saimah said...

MashaAllah that was beautiful... I also love that verse from the Quran that describes us as garments for one another. Perfect.

dust n roses said...

funny! u commented on my blog on the quote i posted from Shaykh Abdullah Adhami comparing men and women to the moon and then sun; then i came here to check out your blog and read this post; then i googled Shaykh Abdullah Adhami and this is actually from him! mashAllah, this brother is on point!

enjoying ur blog, too...

Gypsy-Heart said...

Mashalla very nicely written. I couldn't agree with you more. I only wish it were that easy. I fear the idea of marriage all together.

Because life is beautiful.


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