Thursday, April 15, 2010

But, why?

mood: relaxed
craving: a nice long weekend with my family <3

Salam Alikom (Peace be with you)  to all my Muslim readers and Hello to all my non-muslim readers....I pray everyone has a beautiful weekend. The weekend has started for us.. YIPPIE! 

Why do you keep your last name?

I've gotten asked this a lot - by old friends.  I simply tell them this.

In Islam it's God's order to keep your father's name as an indication of your lineage.

What happens if she gets divorced, or her husband dies, and she marries another man? Will she keep changing her surname every time she marries another man? Makes sense.

If you think about it, the husband is named after his own father, and what does she have to do with the lineage of her husband's father? This goes against common sense and true facts.

Besides, the husband has nothing that makes him better than his wife's father. So why should she give up her father's name and take her husband's last name?

This is in our religion, Islam. I'm not talking down to anyone who takes their hubby's last name.

But, this is why I didn't take it. 

My father liked the reasons... <3 I'm sure it's the pride.  So - yep! that's why I still have my last name
I'm proud!

Edited to add: Thanks Ultra blue: 

 Call them (adopted sons) by (the names of) their fathers, that is more just with Allaah…” [al-Ahzaab 33:5].

Furthermore, there are rulings attached to her being named after her father, which have to do with inheritance, spending and who is a mahram,( first degree male relatives, son, brother, father, uncle) etc.

Another good point is... They should keep their names to avoid confusion and illegal marriages in the future.. 

Final Whisper -  You'll never know how much I love you.


Amira said...

Asalamu Alaikum,
Mashallah I like your reasons, I don't think I would change my last name either.

Dr. N said...

Thanks dear for such a great post. I also kept my father’s family name after I got married and have faced this question when I was back in the States in grad school and work, and I gave the same answer. I believe that Islam has given women a very prestigious status in all aspects and I thank Allah swt for that. I am glad that we have an open minded, well spoken sister like you to join us in this great religion to show the many many bright sides of it that other people don’t know.
Thanks again 7abibti :)

My Getaway said...

Exactly! Of course if you live in the states it can make things a bit complicated if a woman has a different last name than her kids and husband. But I think she can keep her last name and add her husbands on like the celebs do?

Dream It Up Cookies said...

My thoughts exactly! It just doesn't make sense!

I got married in Lebanon so I never really had to choose (you can't change your name there even if you want to), but I wouldn't have changed it anyways.

Anonymous said...

VEry true, and logical reasoning.

As for your dad liking this. I've found that, especially in the west, the fathers of a woman who converts to Islam is much more accepting about it in general, not just the name, as you pointed out, will be carried on.

I knew a few American girls who were converts in college in the US and their fathers were like God am I glad she found God, even if it isnt the same way I found it, at least now she isnt dressing like a **** and coming home wasted at all hours of the night.

I think alot of misconceptions exist about a woman's place in Islam, especially when the crazy bomb touting 2 or 3% are the ones always in the news.

As I always say, The Prohpeht's wife Khadijah (May allah be pleased with her) was THE BOSS. Mashallah, she owned her own business and land, trading and the like. She held a high place amount the Meccans, even though in pre-Islamic Arabia women were basically slaves. She was an exception that Islam moulded.

I was also asked this by Americans, why does your wife (in the future) not take your name?

My answer was... Why should she? She isnt my child nor my slave. It was a shock as most of my class mates expected me, as a Muslim, to be like WOMAN COOK CLEAN GRRR! (In a caveman voice)

Hah, If I could I would take my fiance's name, and sit at home and have her work and spend on me!

Nice post. Very insightful for muslims and non-muslims alike. Maybe you could find some fatawi or ahadeeth on the subject?

eshda3wa said...

and you should be !

Anonymous said...

peace be with you
Hope you are OK in this Holy Day

Zabo0o6a said...

The perfect reply !

OmAbdullah said...

Perfectly put as usual ! mashaAllah My exact thoughts/reasonings :)

Islam is simple... Islam is common sense. Why can't people see this?

MashaAllah @ your dad :)
My Parents are not muslim and probably don't agree with everything we do but alhamdulillah they have been understanding and I know that they are much happier seeing their daughter living here with her loving family and covering, bring muslim, etc. rather than living at home with someone.. drinking and all that other yuck stuff.. subhanaAllah.
Im glad they realize this mashaAllah

White Freedom said...

hi sis

good subject , all my life i carried my family name in school , hospital, university , traveling every test i wrote my family name may name and my fathers name all my life .
so i can't imagine to remove a part of my life for some one els because i feel that i get rid of my fathers name easy and very cold . i can't do this.

Another-Penelope said...

im glad ^_^

Salma said...

Well I have my hubby's name because I never had my father's name anyway, I had a "slave" name.

People give me slack for that...Muslim people for that matter and they start to preach to me about Islam...I know Islam but I didn't want to carry around such a name and that was my right as well.

So some people have a different kind of history that they don't want to keep.

Just a thought.

Shahirah Elaiza said...

Assalamualaikum sis =) I'm back online!!! The weekend's here, that's why. I've had such a hectic week... but I got through it alhamdulillah.

Hmm, I think women should be able to keep their last name if they want to. I know in the West married women change their surnames and it is originally a tradition which perpetuates the idea of women as property. Basically, once they marry they become the property of their husband.

In Islam that's definitely not the case. In fact a Muslim woman has the right to protect and preserve her identity =) And keeping their last name is one way of doing so.

Good topic sis! I've missed you wallah. Uni life has been so crazy lately. I hope you and your family are doing well inshaAllah *HUGS*

Miss Dreamer said...

I totally agree with you Texan. It all makes sense you know.

Twizzle said...

as-salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah,

MashaAllah great post!

Sometimes people want to hang on to their cultural practices even if it goes against Islam. And that includes the cultural practice of taking a husband's last name.

Because life is beautiful.


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