Saturday, April 17, 2010

Saturday ramblings

mood: content
craving: some Mexican candy ( Tamarindo )

Salam Alikom (Peace be with you)  to all my Muslim readers and Hello to all my non-muslim readers....I pray everyone had a beautiful weekend. The weekend has just ended for us.. The weekend isn't over for y'all in the west. One more extra day. Relax and spend some quality time with family and friends.

There's this special feeling while doing everything that a stay at home mom should do.  Today was a busy day for me. We cleaned our three big fish tanks and basically spring cleaned. I got all my older clothes I don't wear anymore together and sent them to charity. What a great feeling.

Alhamdulilah (Thank you God) 

All my friends think I am nuts, but I love, love, love cleaning. I like the way it makes me feel after wards. I don't need no maid to do what I should be doing. I love cooking for my family and love keeping our home nice, cozy and clean. I love that our daughter comes home from school and there's a nice hot meal for her to eat, and it was ME who cooked the meal, not a cook.  Nothing like mama's homemade food.  I like to do things "my way" and don't feel it's necessary to have another woman live inside my humble home and clean the mess we make. It's nice every once in a while getting someone to come clean our outside windows and help me with the bigger stuff. But,  the more that I see the trouble some live in  maids have brought family and friends,  I say, "No thanks." One of my best friends, Om Abdullah, has ladies come clean her home a couple times a week. I wouldn't mind, because it's the bigger things. Not the things we clean everyday. They don't live in her home and she doesn't like that either. So, her and I are hand in hand with that. This is specifically for, non-working mom's.

Now, here's something else I wanted to talk about.

You brought them into this world and YOU should be the one to raise them and it's your responsibility to feed, change and nurture them. I can honestly understand if you don't have helping husband, seriously.  But, since I've never been in this situation, I can't judge.  But, me,  I can't imagine someone other than my family members/close friends, changing my son.  No way.  Not the maids responsibility.  How do you really know this person? She could have some deep problems and you would only know when something went wrong. The stories come flowing in when I am usually at my in laws house and by another reliable source. I've gasped at each and every one of the sick stories. I guess I'll never understand. *shrugs shoulders* To each his own.

About having a maid. For me it's a violation of my privacy. Letting someone else clean our bedroom? Nope, it will never happen. For me the bedroom is a private place and I can't think of someone even cleaning our mess. Just being around listening to my conversations with my husband. Even if she wouldn't be in the same room with us. She's in the same house. Basically, a stranger.

Usually this is what I hear. She's really good the first 6 months. Then she starts getting a attitude. She starts to feel comfy in the home and then other things can happen. I just wouldn't want the risk. I am totally not judging people having maids. Some people really need the help... and even if they don't need the help, it's the norm here. But, everyone knows my views on me getting a maid. Maybe someday. I doubt it. If it hasn't happened now, I don't think it would happen in the future. God only knows. You know us women, we change our minds at a drop of a pin. When I make up my mind, it usually sticks. I am pretty hard headed.

To those of you who have nannies. Be careful. For those of you who are thinking of getting nannies.. Think really hard.

are your kids not precious?

Final whisper: Don't worry about the people in your past, there's a reason they didn't make it to your future.


MuslimFirst said...

Salaam Sis - I don't have a comment on the topic, but just wanted to say I was always a bit thrown off by the weekend intro and I just now Googled it and found out that your weekend is Friday-Saturday . . and it's similar for other Arab states in the region . . . .having Friday off made sense of course for Jumu'ah, so I guess I should have realized this - anyways, thanks for the 'cupcake' :-)

-your bro, who is tired and who is being somewhat robbed of his weekend due to having to spend some hours both days in the emergency surgery department for practical lessons . . med school . .sheesh! :-P

My Getaway said...

In Syria we used to get only Fridays out of school but now it's Friday and Saturday, of course this happened after I leave and come to the U.S. lol.

I'm sure it's a better feeling being in control of your own house instead of a maid.

Anonymous said...

Nope, it will never happen.

y mom said the same thing till we were 4 kids. Then it just gets a bit much.

I think ONE maid to help out on basic things, and help in the cooking is fine.

my issue is, for example, my dad's house... 3 maids for the 4 kids. His wife is... sigh, a waste of skin.

So in an extreme like that no, the kids even take their naps in the maids beds!!!!!!!!!!

I think a maid for actual chores when the family gets large is fine. A balance is good. My aunt has 9 kids and so has a cook and 2 maids, BUT they have never brought up the kids. That is her business, and my aunt is a home maker type. You dare not interfer with her kids! Even the cooking, she over sees.

Like I said, at some point, 3 or 4 kids, thats 8 or more kandooras to wash iron and press a day... the sufras... Our maids are swamped. And with most of us in our 20s and working, we have no time. It will happen. Just make sure when it does it happens the right way.

Texan in UAE said...

Bro, Muslim First, Yep! our weekends are different. I know I heard that they might, just might start having the weekends like in the west. Allahu Alam. We'll see in the near future. Rest! bro! Insh'aa'Allah! all this will be worth it at the end! I am sure it's hard.

My getaway, Yes, it's control. LOL I like routine.

Ultra blue, You're so right. My mom in law got a maid, only after the 9th child. LOL subhana'Allah. I am so not against maids, it's just when they start taking care of the kids. I would so be like your auntie! LOL Do the house work and leave the kids to me. LOL That's if Alla gives us more children. Insha'a'Allah.

I cringed when you said, the kandora's and the other stuff. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Erika said...

If I could, I would send you some's my little sister's birthday party & there's some tamarindo in the candy bags :)

I love and agree with your take on cleaning and just having a maid in general...totally. Hmm, now you've got me thinking since I never planned on being a stay at home mom, but I want to be there for my kids 100% of the time...just like my mom has done...hmm..

Anonymous said...

I cringed when you said, the kandora's and the other stuff. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

I never thought of it either, till I walked into the washroom (where the washing machines are) and saw the... insanity.

Then It dawned on me, 5 boys, most working, so 4 to 6 kandooras each, as many sufras, different colors, so you cant wash them together... even the kandooras are different colros... the T shirts, wizars, and I wear colored wizars... cause Im weird... and then you have the women's cloting, and Im assuming you bunch are more fussy than we are about your clothing...

Wait till you have 6 kids and they are in highschool! You're no maid tune will change!

Rene´s Bare Essentials said...

salaam Alaikum!

I agree, cleaning is fun =) Such a great way to unwind and relax! I always feel great after I have finished cleaning. Now that I am pregnant its a bit difficult for me to clean, since I tend to get tired often and my muscles are very sore if I stand for 10 minutes or longer. I feel its fine to have extra help around the house (a maid), however she should be there to help not to do everything while the wife gets her nails done and goes shopping. As for having nannies watch kids I think it depends on the situation. Unfortunatley there are a lot of single moms out there and they may not be close to their family or perhaps their family or friends are unable to watch their children so they are left with no alternative but to hire a nanny or babysitter. Now, if the wife is not working and is healthy and able to take care of her kids there is no need for a nanny. I know there are a lot of women who will hire a nanny so that they can go out with their girlfriends, shop, go to the gym etc, which I feel is wrong. You see this a lot with celebs who treat their kids like an accessory and have their nannies raise them, so sad.

Twizzle said...

as-salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah,

if it was just my husband and I, I wouldn't want a maid. The size of our home would probably make a difference too LOL

if my husband and I lived in a big home I might want a maid to help out... but not for the cooking and caring for children.

But living with others... lets just say there is no way I am going to get stuck picking up for anyone else's laziness. Let their be maids for them!

you know what I'm talking about :P

Wafa' said...

It's a norm as you said here in the gulf to have maids even if they need it. Actually we are one of the very very few people who don't have maid and i guess in away we are lucky. But beside the points you mention in your post. lots of people can not and shouldn't have maids because they treat them with no respect or dignity or any kindness, they only look at them as evil creatures, and then we calimed to be muslims!!! , didn't the prophet ask us to treat any one who work for us as a human being !!!

speaking for cooking for your kids, i am old and i love eating out but nothing ever is compared to my mother's cook :)

OmAbdullah said...

Just being around listening to my conversations with my husband

^^ one of my biggest reasons!

And yes for sure.. I would never ever ever inshaAllah!!! have a maid take care of my children. Im not for that at all. I've seen with my own eyes how little maids can care about your children..

Yes I have those ladies coming couple times a week and to me this is like the best! I wouldn't want to change it for the world. They come and quickly zoom through my house while dh is at work and do the big big clean.. like massive bathroom cleans, etc... all the fun stuff :))
And then i of course do the daily things..which is vacuuming, sometimes moping, dishes and kitchen clean and small bathroom cleans.
Some days when my kitchen is piled with dirty dishes and the toy room is a massive diaster, i think of how nice would it be to have a maid. BUT when i finish everything, i feel great! i feel relaxed and happy that everything is clean and I DID IT. And yes im like you about the food. I want my dh and cihldren to come to a home cooked meal by me ;)

Oh and im a NO Iron lady :)) so maids do that too :D And yeah I could change my tune one day inshaAllah when we are blessed with more children.. and they are older and have too many things..
but there would be a fine line with the maid. why? because I will never let my children grow up to be waited on.
If i ever have a maid she will be MY helper.. and nobody elses.

Melissa said...

Sometimes I think I'd like to have someone come in and help me with the big cleaning once a week for a couple hours. But not a full time live-in maid! Noooo way! And certainly not to watch my kids for me.

If I was working, I'd try to see if my family would help with the kids if not I'd have to arrange something, day care or whatever.

But yeah, I can't imagine anyone coming in and cleaning my house, living here with us...too much for me!

Noor said...

Asalam Alaykum, I am with you sis no maid for me. I can do it on my own and would not want another in my home, weird.. I like doing those things for my family as well what a blessing that we have to be able to stay home alhumdullah.

Because life is beautiful.


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