Friday, February 25, 2011

A STAR is born....

mood: on cloud 9
craving: my weekend with my kids.. 

Salam Alykom my beautiful Muslim followers and a BIG Hola to all my AWESOME non-Muslim followers. I hope y'all had a GREAT week. I know the weekend started in the Middle East already. But, it started here, today. :) :) :) Now, on to my exciting entry. 

Almost seventeen years ago, a star was born. I would have to say, I'm a little bias because that star is my daughter. Now, I don't think there is anyone on this earth as proud of her as I am. After all, I carried her for almost ten months and gained a million pounds/kilos. After she was born, I had to work out extra hard to get that baby weight off. But, in spite of all that, I still love and adore her. 

If I do say so myself, I've done a damn awesome job raising her, of course with the help of her step father. Thanks Abu Azooz (The father of Abdul Aziz..) May Allah (God) reward you and make your life happy always ameen. 
She's extraordinary, worldly, charismatic, a leader, tactful, steadfast, resourceful, sincere, committed, knowledgeable and above all with a fine memory, sense of wit and humor and a bundle of common sense. Need I say more? Ana Bahebak (i love you in Arabic العربية ), ya Amber. te Amo, mi amor.
 The good news is.
My daughter is ranked 8th out of her sophomore class of 482! Her GPA (Grade Point Average) is 100.14... I'm so proud!!!!!!! She's going places in her life. If you had a five minute conversation with her, you wouldn't believe her mind. I always call her a old soul. We have had the best conversations since being back from the middle east. She's grown up a lot and has shown me a different side of her. I pray that Allah (God) guides her always, gives her a good life and always continues to go the straight path. I pray that she always knows she's worthy of being loved and respected. I better stop typing, or I would be here all day long. Bottom line, I have a awesome daughter. =))) 

Happy Friday, Everyone! 

final whisper: still on cloud 9...

Monday, February 21, 2011

Life really goes on and on and on... no one cares. =((

mood: Pissed off
craving: )(&*(&(_* TO  )*)(_ someone!

A BIG AS-SALAM ALYKOM WA RAHMATUALLAHI WA BARAKATUH! to all my Muslim sisters and brothers out there. A BIG HOLA, To all my non-Muslim followers and readers. :) I pray everyone is in the best health and faith.

I would hope that everyone in the world is following what's going on in the Middle East/North Africa. However, if I held my breath and believed that to be true, I'd probably be dead with in seconds. Seems like if it's not happening in your part of the world, no one cares. *bleh* I guess that's just how the world rolls, and that pisses me off. Hats off to all you photographers and journalists out there, risking your lives to let us see coverage of everything happening around the world. May Allah (God) protect y'all.

With what's happening in Libya, Yemen, Egypt, Bahrain, Palestine (STILL!) we can't stay silent about this. It seems we have muzzles on our mouths and the only thing we're doing is shouting at our computers and televisions when we see the inhumane acts  being carried out. The only thing we can do is pray for them. I would be the first in line to help out, if it meant I could make a difference. Where are the Arabian governments? Shouting at their TV's and cursing the idiots that are running these countries? Well, that's not gonna help. In fact it's making it worse. There's a genocide out there. WAKE UP!!!!

It's sad that not only ARABS get treated harshly in other countries, but they are so oppressed in the countries that are called their homes. What the hell is wrong with the leaders? Don't they have hearts?  I think not. They want everything to run according to what they like and they overturn things that won't be in their favor. Shame on you, Gaddafi and others. Seems every time I say or read his name, I want to say, "Adolf Hitler!" Name goes accordingly. Right? But, in his case, I think Gaddafi  is much worse, since he's killing our brothers and sisters.

My heart goes out to our Arab Muslims and Christians (yes, I said Christians) Since they're Arab too. I've traveled to a lot of places and met a lot of influential people of all races. The ones who have touched my heart more than any other, are ARABS. It's hard to believe that some Arab leaders are cold blooded killers. No one is doing a thing about it. I pray that all this gets sorted out fast.

final whisper:To all my brothers and sisters out there, going through hell, hold on tight. We are praying and crying with y'all. Every minute of the day, y'all are in my thoughts and prayers.

live life to the fullest... Enjoy.

mood: very tired
craving: nutella

Salam Alykom my sisters and brothers and Hola,to my non-Muslim followers. I haven't had time to come and write any entries, we had a very busy weekend. My kids and I spend the whole weekend out and I didn't really have time to be on my laptop. So, here's a very short entry. I'm going to bed now and wanted to leave y'all with something to ponder on. Good morning to my overseas friends out there, Have a GREAT Day. Good night, America/Canada. Sweet dreams. :) :) :)

final whisper: don't waste a minute of your life, do what makes you happy. :) :) :)

Friday, February 18, 2011

Do you really know?

mood: bitter
craving: to see my friends tonight....

salam alykom bros and sisters..Alloooo (Arabic accent) to all my readers out there. :) :) :) The weekend is here and I can't wait to see my friends tonight. YAY!

With everything going on in the Middle East Bahrain and in Africa (Libya, Egypt, Algeria,Yemen) BTW; Libya lies smack-dab between Tunisia and Egypt...I was wondering if Americans really knew what was going on? Maybe y'all don't think this will affect y'all, well, it will, stop and think.  I know growing up my father raised us kids with really open minds and we knew more than the "Average" kid, I didn't think that we were the only ones in this world. I knew that Europe and the Middle East - Far east existed. I do see where people wouldn't be concerned about other countries if you're living in America. After all, American is such a vast country.  It's inevitable that you will get whisked away in big state of  TEXAS and not even know what's going on outside TEXAS. When I was told where my x-husband was from "Emirates" I had to look at the map and it was kinda embarrassing. But, ya I admit I didn't know exactly where Emirates was. But, that's just how the world is.. Everyone is only concerned with where they live and not outside their comfort zone. That's my biggest pet peeve.. Uffff. : /

That said, I really think that others from outside "America" are more open minded and they know a hell of a lot more than the "Average" American. I vowed not to raise my kids this way. It won't happen, just won't. I want y'all to take a look at my daughters conversation with my Aunt Just making a point.. . Click on it after you read this entry.  Mind y'all, she's only 16, soon to be 17.   This is how I want my kids to react when someone tries to say something they know nothing about. :)

Now, I hope this entry makes y'all think... Maybe look on a map and start to get to know places outside America? That would be a good start. :)

Happy Friday everyone. Sat for all the people in the Middle East and Far east. Be safe.. Take care...
P.S. I know that me becoming a Muslim has everything to do with how I view the world. I'm a lot more open minded since I reverted. Change opens your heart and mind. Feels GREAT!

final whisper: Pick up a book or browse on the net and read. The old forgotten habit.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

What exactly do MUSLIMS believe in?

mood: really really :)) :)) :))
craving: family time. YAY

Salam Alikom (Peace be with you)  to all my Muslim readers and Hello to all my non-Muslim readers. It's the beginning of the weekend. It didn't come fast enough. ;) May God bless y'all always. Have a wonderful weekend. 

I posted this when I first started to blog. Re-posting it now, because I know more people are now reading my blog. I would love feed back to what y'all think. Where are all you non-Muslim readers? Don't stay quiet, give us some feed back. Promise, we (Muslims) don't bite. Thoughts, please. 

When I was a Catholic, before I became Muslim, I always was told to believe that Jesus (peace be upon him) died for our sins. I really struggled with the fact and thought to myself, "How in the world does a man die for our sins? A man they call GOD." Don't get me wrong; he's a great man sent down by God to teach all mankind to believe in GOD. And he's just that: a man.

I always wondered about it. It wasn't until I was older and realized I only believe in ONE GOD! That lead me to believing in Islam. The last religion that was sent down to our beloved Prophet Muhammad (may peace and blessing be upon him). It was sent down by Allah (God). For those of you who tell us "Allah" is a different God, it's not true. Dios, Gott, Dieu, Dio, Бог, Deus! They all mean the same thing -> God. So it makes sense. Even Christian Arabs say Allah.

... We as Muslims believe in ONE GOD and one God only. In addition to that, we believe that the Last Prophet, Muhammad (may peace and blessings be upon him) was sent down by Allah to relay the true message to ALL mankind.

We believe in and worship ONE GOD and associate NO others with Him.
We believe in our Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him)
We believe in Angels, Jinn and everything else Allah (God) has created
We believe in the Last Day (Judgment Day)

We offer five daily prayers that are obligatory in the religion of Islam.
We offer Zakat (Charity/Alms) to the poor and needy
We MUST perform Hajj (pilgrimage to Mecca) at least once in a life time, if we have the money and means to do so.

We do not press our religion on anyone, we merely want people to understand what Islam is and not associate it as: Muslim->Arab->Terrorist. Islam is a religion of peace, it was made perfect. It is only people who make it hard.

Written by: Me; Texan, after UAE

Final whisper: The Arabic word "Islam" simply means, "Submission". and derives from a word meaning, "Peace". In a religious context it means complet submission  to the will of God. 

How many of y'all knew that? :) 

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Are you really happy?

mood: (=
craving: Friday...

Many times in a human's life, a person feels weak or unable to rise to the challenges of the days and just feels like giving up on trying all together.

But, there are people who go through times that are a lot harder than what we have been through, and those people rise to that challenges and face their fears and worries with a steady heart and strong iman (Faith) and they conquer those fears. It is from those people we draw our inspiration.

"Or think you that you will enter Paradise without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you?" (Soorah al-Baqarah) 2-214)

"And we will surely test you with some fear, hunger and shortages of property, people and produce. But give good tidings to the steadfast. Those who, when a calamity befalls them say: "We belong to Allah and to Him we return." Upon these are prayers from their Lord and mercy and these are the rightly-guided ones."
(Al-Baqarah:) 155-157

"How amazing is the affair of the believer! Everything which happens is good for him. And that is for no one except the believer. When he encounters good times and ease, he gives thanks and that is good for him and if he encounters hardship he is steadfast and that is good for him."

Have you ever asked yourself what real happiness is? I'm sure you have.. Focusing on the negative things. No matter how much I feel, think or talk about it. It never changes. If it does, will only increase.So what now? I've often thought about it.My mom always told me, "To find real happiness is within oneself." Always only doing everything for the sake of our Lord, then nothing can affect you, unless you let it. It would really change things in your life for the better. Anyone who chooses to be happy, can be happy. You don't have to have money to be happy; it doesn't matter, as long as you focus and know, no matter what, you can control how you feel. I'll try to give y'all a few examples how to be happy.

1) Only love and do things only for the sake of Allah (God). When you do anything for anyone you love, for Allah's sake you won't be hurt, because you know you only did it for His sake. It is only this kind of love – loving Allah (God) – that is the purest kind of love and yes, it is eternal. As long as your life is focused on that, nothing else should bother you..

2) Love yourself.. love others.. it will pay back in the form of pure happiness.. why wait for others to make you happy? Start from within, and spread it around.. Don’t worry.  It's endless and there will be enough for everyone..

3) Never envy others.. instead work hard for what they have or earned and be grateful of what you already have.. If you look sourly at what others have and wish you got it instead.. sorrow and depression will definitely be your best friends.. Reality check: no one on Earth is perfect..

Everyone everywhere will always lack something.. and will want more.. its human nature.. Still hard? Then do it the easy way and look at those less fortunate than you and you will surly discover the set of treasures you have got..

These are just a few steps.. as long as you understand the idea and implement it.. happiness shall find its way to you.. and hopefully to those around you..

An Arab poet said:
"Thankfulness. Remembrance, and patience,
In them are blessings and rewards."

Another ingredient of happiness is the keeping of secrets, especially one's own secrets. Among the Arabs there is a famous story of a Bedouin who was entrusted with a secret for a fee of twenty dinars. At first he remained true to the deal and then suddenly, in a fit of impatience, he went and returned the money he wanted to unburden himself from the load of the secret. This is basically because secrecy requires steadfastness, patience, and willpower.

`O' my son! Relate not your vision to your brothers...  (Qur 'an 12: 5)

final whisper: counting the days till.................

Monday, February 14, 2011

A few sometimes and one always

mood: relaxed
craving: driving in my old convertible mustang with the hood down

Salam Alykom to all my Muslim readers out there. Hola to all my non-Muslim readers. :) Today was a GREAT day. Alhamdulilah. (Thank God) I hope everyone out there had a FAB day. :) :) :) Now, on to my entry. :) 

sometimes: I laugh at things that really aren't funny
sometimes: I talk to my mom when I'm cleaning my home. (she passed away) 
sometimes: I dance with my daughter while cooking 

 sometimes: I wanna just keep my kids next to me and never let them go
sometimes: I cry when no on is watching
sometimes:  my heart feels like it's going to explode with love 
sometimes: I miss my mom so bad, I can't stop crying
sometimes:  I refuse to say, I'm sorry for something that I did wrong 

always: I can look at my faults and know that I'm never gonna be perfect and keep striving for better -. I can sit back and love myself for who I am and who I've become - I can be thankful for God giving me another day to worship him - thank God for leading me to the most compassionate , caring, loving, Peaceful religion, Islam.

final whisper: I love my life, not because it's perfect. But because it's real ♥ ♥ ♥ (m)

Sunday, February 13, 2011

A night to remember and never to forget....

mood: chatty
craving: That awesome red velvet cheesecake.... <3

Salam Alykom to all my Muslim followers and readers. Hola to all my Non-Muslim followers and readers. I hope everyone had a awesome weekend.

Have you ever met that one person who you just click with right from the very first hello? Well, since being back to the States, this one special person was one of the first people I came to know, thanks to Mama Sara. :) Thanks, girly. Her name is Salwa, she's studying here in San Antonio and is from none other than Saudia Arabia. You know, she  just gets me. We have the same likes and dislikes and I can really relate to her.

"Salwa, you better have finished that other half of our cheesecake. My jeans were about to bust after our big meal."
Last night I met her at The Cheesecake Factory. After waiting for an hour for a table, we got to talk about things that made us laugh and made us think about our life. Her being gone on that long holiday back to her country had made us miss what we had ever since I met her. I, of course, didn't forget her laugh, smile and sense of humor. No. I just had to get that Salwa medicine I longed to have back in my life. I got it and it's going have to be re-charged at least once a week. With work and school it's hard to get those daily visits in with all us girls. But I love those weekly get togethers we have. It really makes me feel like I'm back in  United Arab Emirates, visiting my best friends, whom I long to sit and laugh with.

As I walked through the doors to meet with her, she spotted me and ran up to me with this huge bag in her hands. We greeted each other with salams and kisses. She smiled and said, "Look, Amani! This is for you." I opened it and thanked her with kisses and hugs. This perfume she got me is one of the BEST in the world. The smell is not really comparable to anything I've smelled. It's soft yet sensual and ever so dreamy. I couldn't thank her enough. She got me some OUD too and it's awesome.

Salwa- our night with each other was off the charts. I loved our talks and loved hearing you laugh and joke with me. Remember, once a week. It's nice having me time with my friends.

Well, all I can do now is sniff my wrists and dream of a nice holiday to a great unknown destination. . :)

final whisper: Your smile is contagious.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Just making a point... :)

mood: Proud 

Salam Alykom dear sisters and brothers in Islam.. Hola to all my non-muslim followers. Y'all are lucky today, I'm making two entries. :) I was just so blown away by my daughters FB wall chat with my Aunt. I'm so proud of her and proud of how smart she is. :) By no means are we ignorant and we are very much open minded people. My parents raised me and my siblings to be this way. So, my daughter is very opened minded too. I love this way of thinking and push ignorance out the window... No room for ignorance in this family. Now, on to my entry. :) Have a nice evening everyone.

Aunt: well, get ready, Mansfield ISD near Dallas will require all students (middle) to learn Arabic and its culture :/ even though they have very few Arab residents there. They applied and received a grant. What's next?

Daughter: I think that's neat! Arabs have influenced so much in the modern world. Not to mention that the culture is super interesting...

Aunt: Texas second language is Spanish, our kids need to learn spanish as their second language. They can learn other languages in college (their choice).

Daughter: Wait, so they're not going to teach Spanish anymore?

Aunt: I don't know, they didn't go into that.r

Daughter: They're just going to start a program that explains how Arab culture has influenced Western society. A lot of things from the Middle East have... been brought to the West. It's only right if Americans have an idea. Plus, it'll broaden their minds and teach them not to always associate Arab with terrorist.

Aunt: well, that's ok if it is voluntary, not forced upon our population:/ it should be offered as an elective

My Daughter: Some of the parents seem very supportive of it. I think it's a great opportunity for the kids to actually learn stuff like that. Many probably won't be able to travel outside of the US, so it's good that they learn about other cultures and how to appreciate them. The world worked together to make it what it is.

Aunt: that is what is sooo great about this country, immigrants assimilate into our language and culture and it all seems to work out in the long run  but it is important to protect our rights and freedom to make decisions concerning our lives and our children.You will understand that better when you are a parent (far far off for you :) You have been blessed with a really good education and the ability to learn languages but remember not everyone is as blessed.

Daughter:  I'm aware of that, so it's good that they're trying to teach a different language in this great country, right? If anything, it reinforces the meaning of freedom which is linked to education. Everyone in America has the right to education. ...Learning a new language is part of education.
If learning Arabic has some parents on the edge, I think that's kind of sad. Of course I know there's such a thing as prejudice and moreover, fear (because of 9/11 and everything). But not all Arabs are terrorists. Why aren't parents against kids learning Spanish? Mexicans have their own war going on, with the drug cartel and everything. They're terrorists to their own country.
I'm glad that they're trying to embrace something so foreign.

Aunt:  this has been a really interesting conversation, loved communicating with you.  it's been fun and maybe soon we can get together and talk in person. Tell your mom to call me so we can all get together. Maybe barbeque or cook something really good  my bed is calling to me so sleep tight

My daughter:  I'll definitely tell her. Hopefully we can get together soon, that would be GREAT. I need someone to speak German with. haha
Good night, Aunt (name here )

final whisper: she really makes me proud.

What did all you non-Muslims think? re-post...

 mood: adventurous
craving: a day with my kids having fun all day. :)

I posted this back in 2010. Now that I have a lot more followers and readers out in the blogger world, I thought this would be a great chance to re-post. :)

Salam Alykom my brothers and sisters and Hello to all my non Muslim brothers and sisters in humanity. :) :) It's Sat. Today and my kids and I always have a good time out around San Antonio. Today I think I'll take them to the Museum.. :) Have a GREAT day/night. Now, on to my entry. :) Enjoy. 

 Yes, it's true. Us Muslims LOVE Jesus.

All you non-Muslim bloggers out there must be shocked to know, we as Muslims do love Isa (Jesus Peace and blessings up on him).  You have the media feeding y'all lies and telling y'all that Muslims are this and that. Well, I have news for y'all: we are good people and try our best to follow the word of God. Like any one else, we have our bad apples, but that doesn't mean that every Muslim is bad. I pray that this entry will open your heart and take a little time to get to know what Muslims believe in. It won't hurt. I might be that special friend  you've been looking for. I am a human with a heart and I breathe just like you, have feelings, just like you, I have a loving family, just like you. The only difference is, our belief isn't exactly the same. Let me take a minute to tell you why we love Jesus.

 I'll try to keep it short - 

Judaism, Christianity, and Islam are monotheistic religions, namely they believe that there is only one God.

What Do Muslims Believe about Jesus?

Muslims respect and revere Jesus (peace be upon him).  They consider him one of the greatest of God’s messengers to mankind.  The Quran confirms his virgin birth, and a chapter of the Quran is entitled ‘Maryam’ (Mary).  The Quran describes the birth of Jesus as follows:

(Remember) when the angels said, “O Mary, God gives you good news of a word from Him (God), whose name is the Messiah Jesus, son of Mary, revered in this world and the Hereafter, and one of those brought near (to God).  He will speak to the people from his cradle and as a man, and he is of the righteous.” She said, “My Lord, how can I have a child when no mortal has touched me?” He said, “So (it will be).  God creates what He wills.  If He decrees a thing, He says to it only, ‘Be!’ and it is.” (Quran, 3:45-47)

Jesus was born miraculously by the command of God, the same command that had brought Adam into being with neither a father nor a mother.  God has said:

  The case of Jesus with God is like the case of Adam.  He created him from dust, and then He said to him, “Be!” and he came into being. (Quran, 3:59)

During his prophetic mission, Jesus performed many miracles.  God tells us that Jesus said:

  “I have come to you with a sign from your Lord.  I make for you the shape of a bird out of clay, I breathe into it, and it becomes a bird by God’s permission.  I heal the blind from birth and the leper.  And I bring the dead to life by God’s permission.  And I tell you what you eat and what you store in your houses....” (Quran, 3:49)

Note: ^ ONLY by God's permission. 

Muslims believe that Jesus was not crucified.  It was the plan of Jesus’ enemies to crucify him, but God saved him and raised him up to Him.  And the likeness of Jesus was put over another man.  Jesus’ enemies took this man and crucified him, thinking that he was Jesus.  God has said:

...They said, “We killed the Messiah Jesus, son of Mary, the messenger of God.” They did not kill him, nor did they crucify him, but the likeness of him was put on another man (and they killed that man)...  (Quran, 4:157)

Neither Muhammad (May Peace and blessings be up on him) nor Jesus came to change the basic doctrine of the belief in one God, brought by earlier prophets, but rather to confirm and renew it.

Muslims believe in one, unique, incomparable God, Who has no son nor partner, and that none has the right to be worshiped but Him alone.  He is the true God, and every other deity is false.  He has the most magnificent names and sublime perfect attributes.  No one shares His divinity, nor His attributes.  In the Quran, God describes Himself:

Say, “He is God, the One.  God, to Whom the creatures turn for their needs.  He begets not, nor was He begotten, and there is none like Him.” (Quran, 112:1-4)

God is not Jesus, and Jesus is not God. Even Jesus himself rejected this.  God has said in the Quran:

Indeed, they have disbelieved who have said, “God is the Messiah (Jesus), son of Mary.”  The Messiah said, “Children of Israel, worship God, my Lord and your Lord.  Whoever associates partners in worship with God, then God has forbidden Paradise for him, and his home is the Fire (Hell).  For the wrongdoers, there will be no helpers.” (Quran, 5:72)

 So, there y'all have it. We love Jesus (peace and blessings be up on him) 

 Jesus was a great prophet, sent down by God. He was a man and only did things with the will of God. I always give this analogy. Adam was divine and he had no mother nor father, why don't people worship him? All of God's prophets were divine and only by God's will. From Ibrahim - Jacob - Mosses and many many more. I can't name them all, simply cause there are over one thousand. We believe in all God's prophets and Jesus was just that, a prophet of God, sent down to mankind, to show them, to only worship one God. He is not God, nor the son of God. A prophet of God.

Bottom line: we pray to God, and worship God, we do not ask Jesus for anything. We do everything in this life for God only. God can only give us what we ask for. Not Jesus. 

But, we love Jesus. If we didn't love Jesus, you can not be a Muslim.

A Muslim by definition means one who surrenders and submits to the laws of God. As almighty God is the creator of the heavens and the earth and the creation in it, nothing in the creation works at its own free will...that is it follows a law and nothing can break or change that law unless the almighty wills.

So, I pray that God opens up  your hearts and minds, so y'all stop thinking badly about us Muslims. Open up our holy Quran and start to read. I'm not asking you to revert to Islam. I'm merely asking you to not assume about a religion that is unknown to you. Don't be ignorant. Don't be prejudice. Have a open mind.

 I was once Catholic. I thank God everyday for showing me the religion of peace, Islam. Been Muslim for over nine years.

My only purpose in this life is to worship God. 

 So, to all you non-Muslim blogging sisters and brothers in humanity, come say hello. We are sisters and brothers in humanity after all. Becoming Muslim was the BEST thing I've done in my life. :) :) :) Alhamdulilah (Thank you God)

"To you be your religion, and to me my religion (Islamic Monotheism)." (Quran Surah Al-Kafirun, verse 6)

final whisper: "There is no compulsion in Islam" (Qur'an, 2:256).

Friday, February 11, 2011

I thought of you today...

mood: dreamy
craving: holding my first born son, Mubarak (

Salam Alykom (peace be with you) my dear sisters and brothers and hola to all my non-Muslim followers. I Hope everyone had a great week. The weekend has started in the middle east and one more day for us Americans. Back in 2004 we got the best news ever, I was gonna have a baby. But, it ended sadly. Alhamdulilah (Thanks to God) for everything. I just will never forget his face or his little body when I first held him. I pray that I meet him in Jannah (heaven) someday. He will forever be in my heart and mind. I wrote this the day he was buried, as the snow fell down. I just wanted to hold him forever and keep him warm and safe.

I thought of you today.

Everywhere I looked and every baby I saw i couldn't help to think about YOU
what would your smile look like? and your big eyes too. You have to know I will always love YOU.
Would you want to get out of your stroller, and run? or would you cry to go with your father when he rode the rides with your sister? what would you do?
I thought of you today.
I guess I will never stop dreaming of you day and night.
Wonder what your run would look like.
Your hands upon your fathers face, when you caress his beard.
I thought of YOU today.
We will leave Germany forever but not YOU my son.
Cause forever you will be in our hearts and there you will always stay.
Inshallah (God's willing) my dear son we will meet again in Jannah (Heaven.) But, until then just know that..
I thought of YOU today.
Love your Mother
final whisper: Until we meet again... 
Texan, after UAE..... 

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

I want to fall in love with you again...

mood: Melodramatic
craving: To fall in love with my America again

Salam Alykom (Peace be with you)  to all my Muslim brothers and sisters out there. Hola to all my non-Muslim followers.. I pray that everyone is in the best health and faith and your week started out good. Just been trying to get used to the, "American" life here.. It's coming along... I wish it would come faster...

When I was little I always loved to travel the world with my family. I always knew that America always would have a special place in my heart no matter where I went in this life. But, since I've traveled abroad at an older age, I fell in love with this small country that a lot of people are just getting to know.. This country gave me what I wanted in my life; not only does it have everything I love, it has very special people there that I love and will never forget. This certain country took my mind and my heart away from my America. I never thought a small place like this would take my heart. I never thought any other place would replace the country everyone wants to come to make their dreams.. I thought and only dreamed to live the rest of my life there.. This country is United Arab Emirates. Look it up on the map, you can't miss it, because it has my heart right on top of Abu Dhabi. lol

But, now that i am back in the states, I feel a sense of loss. I feel like a foreigner in my own country.. Sad, but true.. I hate this feeling... It takes a while for me to get used to a place and I never thought it would take any time for me to get used to the place where I was born and raised and LOVED. Don't get me wrong, I still love America. I really do. I feel lost though. I've basically been out of the states for almost 10 years and I changed a lot. I adapted to a culture that took my heart/mind/soul and for some reason, it won't give it back to me. LOL Day in and day out I fight with my heart. I fight with it to at least let me adapt to my homeland easily. Change is never easy, they say and they sure are right. Am I ever gonna get used to this life in America again? Am I going to feel at home again? I guess I finally accepted being away from my family and living in a different country. I accepted it and now moving back has got my mind kind of at a loss. *sigh*

Sometimes in life, something bad has to happen in order for something good to come into your life again. I never questioned what God has planned for us. I know that God will always point me in the right direction, I still have faith. But, I just wanna fall in love with my America again.

Final whisper: I hope my mind and heart comes back to the states again. When? I don't know.. But, please come fast.. 

Texan, after UAE..... 
Because life is beautiful.


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