Tuesday, February 8, 2011

I want to fall in love with you again...

mood: Melodramatic
craving: To fall in love with my America again

Salam Alykom (Peace be with you)  to all my Muslim brothers and sisters out there. Hola to all my non-Muslim followers.. I pray that everyone is in the best health and faith and your week started out good. Just been trying to get used to the, "American" life here.. It's coming along... I wish it would come faster...



When I was little I always loved to travel the world with my family. I always knew that America always would have a special place in my heart no matter where I went in this life. But, since I've traveled abroad at an older age, I fell in love with this small country that a lot of people are just getting to know.. This country gave me what I wanted in my life; not only does it have everything I love, it has very special people there that I love and will never forget. This certain country took my mind and my heart away from my America. I never thought a small place like this would take my heart. I never thought any other place would replace the country everyone wants to come to make their dreams.. I thought and only dreamed to live the rest of my life there.. This country is United Arab Emirates. Look it up on the map, you can't miss it, because it has my heart right on top of Abu Dhabi. lol

But, now that i am back in the states, I feel a sense of loss. I feel like a foreigner in my own country.. Sad, but true.. I hate this feeling... It takes a while for me to get used to a place and I never thought it would take any time for me to get used to the place where I was born and raised and LOVED. Don't get me wrong, I still love America. I really do. I feel lost though. I've basically been out of the states for almost 10 years and I changed a lot. I adapted to a culture that took my heart/mind/soul and for some reason, it won't give it back to me. LOL Day in and day out I fight with my heart. I fight with it to at least let me adapt to my homeland easily. Change is never easy, they say and they sure are right. Am I ever gonna get used to this life in America again? Am I going to feel at home again? I guess I finally accepted being away from my family and living in a different country. I accepted it and now moving back has got my mind kind of at a loss. *sigh*

Sometimes in life, something bad has to happen in order for something good to come into your life again. I never questioned what God has planned for us. I know that God will always point me in the right direction, I still have faith. But, I just wanna fall in love with my America again.

Final whisper: I hope my mind and heart comes back to the states again. When? I don't know.. But, please come fast.. 

Texan, after UAE..... 

11 comments:

Emma Apple said...

SubhanAllah sis I totally understand, it's sort of like what you went through when you first went to UAE, massive culture shock! And it will just take you time to adjust, inshaAllah.

I know if I went back to NZ, even just to visit, it would be hard for me, I'm not the person I was when I left almost 10yrs ago, and it isn't the country I left either.

Stay strong sis and inshaAllah you will find your center again <3

Esell said...

Assalamu allikum sweety,

Im so happy to read this from you espcially "My America" bcoz it is yours as much as UAE is yours.Both have your heart in its own special way and nothing can change that. Yes with time things change, situations change, people change but just keep trying sweety, don't give up, it sure will take a lot of time but inshaAllah there will come ease, happiness and peace for you soon. I really pray that you would find peace withint your heart and would adapt to "Your America" just like before.
Alhamdulilah for all the love, care and support you have. inshaAllah you will get through this real soon.
may Allah heal your heart, guide you to the right decision, make things easy for you and bless you with the best ameen.
love you heaps. <3

UmmKhaled said...

I understand for sure...you have been away for so long...I love UAE a lot too but I have never gotten to the place u r...I dont know if I ever will when I move to UAE...I love my own country but have spent most of my time here...makes me so sad how stuff has to change... :( Hate change! Well love youuuu...

Haitham هيثم Al-Sheeshany الشيشاني said...

Assalamo Alaikom,
I guess we can all relate one way or another.
The transition (not just physically) is not easy.

I wish u find comfort and serenity

H.

Shahirah Elaiza said...

10 years is a very long time. I can understand why you'd feel like a foreigner in the States. Sometimes I feel like an outsider in my own country too after being overseas for almost 7 years despite the fact that I come back for holidays every year.

Feeling "at home" isn't just a physical thing. It's also very emotional and spiritual.

May Allah swt help you through this time sis.

From Yeast to Zest said...

Asalamu Alaykum,


your yusraa will certainly come
didn't Allaah say that He will bring ease after hardship?


your makhraja will surely come
didn't Allaah say He will make a way out for those who fear Him?


the answer to your du'aa will certainly come
didn't Allaah say to call on Him and He will answer you?


your rizq will surely come
didn't Allaah say that He will provide from unimaginable places for those who fear Him?


indeed the promise of Allaah is true, and when the time comes, and it is coming closer to you each day, Allaah will send down His mercy from the heavens…


amatul-wahhab

Miss Dreamer said...

Where r u my friend??
Do u get my emails?????

Hamid said...

salamunalaikum.

It was really nice to read your thoughts.

Aneebaba said...

Salaam dear sister!

Aww, I know what you mean, to a degree. Insha'allah, with time, things will improve and you WILL fall in love with America again.

I don't think it will be quite as difficult, but having lived abroad from most of the year for the past 6 years, I think I will have a bit of an adjustment, but again, no where close to your change of scenery. We will all be thinking of you and wishing you the best with each passing day, week and month.

Love ya Sis


Br. A

Twizzle said...

as-salaam aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I completely call UAE my home and I know it would be hard to adjust to moving back to the US.

The only advice I can give is, if you are planning on trying to stay in the US, you have to PUSH yourself harder to keep moving forward.

Getting used to your new life there isn't going to just suddenly happen one day. Its going to take time and effort.

Things are very different... family dynamics are very different in the US compared to UAE! In the US, you can have family living close yet you feel so far away from them. (of course every family is different, but I know you know what I mean)

If you truly come to know that you can't accept living there... then look at your options and do consider coming back to UAE.

love you!

Twizzle

Texan in UAE said...

Thanks everyone. I love to hear your feed back. :) It's late here and I should get to bed. I have a busy day tomorrow. :)

Because life is beautiful.

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