Tuesday, May 10, 2011

My eyes are opening little by little.

mood: reflective
craving: a PARTY!

salam alykom and hola my dolls. :)  I hope that everyone is having a productive week and if you're not, be positive and i promise when you start to think positive, you're gonna feel so much better. on to my entry. :) :) :)  

Good night to all my friends over seas and to all my friends/family and followers here in the states, have a great day. Keep smiling, happy looks good on you.


When you step outside a society  for almost ten years and try to make it familiar again, it's hard. The States have changed in the last ten years and  people who were once very close to you, have too. Nothing ever stays the same. To soften the blow and to keep the USA close to my heart, I've had to do a lot of soul searching in these last ten months. The first  time we went out after our second to the last payer of the night the streets here in Texas were bare and empty. That to me was a sense of loss. I wanted to shop until midnight in the crowded markets and bargain with the vendors, drop by my in law's home at an ungodly hour that people in the states would gasp at. I couldn't do that here; people are sleeping by 10:30 pm and as I always called the Arabs vampires (in a loving affectionate way) they love to stay up late at night , chat and drink their chai. I got accustomed to that life.. I fell in love with it. But, alas it's done and over with and that will never be my life again.


My life is here in Texas and that's where I'll stay. I've made peace. So, from the day I made peace with being here in the states, I've felt a lot better. I hope it keeps getting better. Someday, I'll go back to my son's birth place, his country. When that day will come? God only knows. But, for now: Please welcome me back, Texas. Why didn't I miss you when I was abroad? I'm finally opening my mind, heart and eyes. I think that's what I had to do from the beginning, but when your heart has been torn apart, and stepped on it's kinda hard to think straight. It's almost been a year since I've been away from UAE, a hard year. A hard year indeed. But, it didn't kill me, therefore it's made me a stronger person. And it's really humbled me and made me a better person.

I wanted to thank a very special person in my life. She's been there from the beginning of my transition here in the states. If it wasn't for her, I don't know where I would be. She's loving and caring and just that special person you can go and pour all your feelings out to and she will never judge you. Isn't it great to have a friend like that? I'm truly blessed. God put her in my life for a reason and that reason was to get me back on track. I'm there and it feels great. Blanca, thank you. You will truly never know how grateful to Allah I am for Him bringing you in my life. May God always give you good in this life and the hear after ameen *kisses and hugs*

final whisper: always look beyond what you see

2 comments:

Melissa said...

I am happy you are adjusting to living back in the US. I miss chatting with you sis. Pray that your life there will get better and better. I totally can understand how you feel though---I cannot imagine living again in TX due to having lived here for 8 yrs. Life in the ME is just different. I miss TX in someways definitely. I hope everything gets easier for you and your kids. InshaAllah soon you can go back to UAE to visit at least. Love you sis! My prayers are with you always!

Tanvi said...

The name of your blog got me here. I am Indian. Living in Texas ... who also lived in Dubai, UAE for a while!

I hope it all works out for you! Good Luck.

♡ from © tanvii.com

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