Wednesday, June 22, 2011

How do you heal a broken heart?

mood: somber
craving: to see my friends back in UAE. T <3 M <3 C <3 S <3 K <3  I love y'all and miss y'all.




As I was driving tonight with my kids, I turned to my daughter and said, "I know he loved me." She looked at me and said, "Mom, sometimes when people are hurt they say spiteful things." I think thats why he told you, 'I stopped loving you a while back.' And in turn you told him something that hurt him."

I sighed and said, "Yeah, maybe your right. No, you're right." I turned the radio louder, as if I wanted to drown out the silence. I started reminiscing about all the good and crazy times we had together. I wondered when this hurt was gonna stop. Is he the only man in my life that I will love? Is he gonna be the only man to laugh at my crazy jokes and no matter what crazy faces I would make while we were joking. Just to see the look in his eyes when he would laugh at me, was priceless. Whose gonna sit in front of me while I'm putting my make-up on and stare at me and watch me as I put every color on my face. Whose going to be that one person who's gonna love me for me? I know it sounds funny, but I've loved one man in my life and it's Abu Azooz. How will I love another? Alas, it's over.  I pray that Allah puts that love in my heart when the right man comes in my life and I love him for the sake of God and treat him with respect and in turn he does the same. I'm not ready to marry anytime soon. And as a Muslim woman, we don't date.  But, when that time does come. I pray God sends someone with a strong deen and someone who will respect me. I won't take anything less. I deserve this. "I've learned- That writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains." <--- Thanks, Miss Dreamer.. I do miss you.  <=== What a awesome blog.

Side note; anyone who tells me to go back with him. I can't.. This is simply my little rant for the day. I get to do this. Writing puts everything in perceptive for me. 

final whisper: "Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met."

10 comments:

purplelurve said...

i had the same feelings years ago..but now i feel more alive and grateful that things happened that way. Allah has better plan for me. Alhamdulillah, I know that there'll be better man for me one day.

I hope u'll meet him too...insyaAllah

I'm Farsilla said...

too heal a broken heart is impossible. no 1 will b able to understand u except urself n GOD. to b honest at 1 point u r tired of thinking this person n eventually ur mind will stop at dat time u will be fine but not 100%

all the best in life n to find the right person

Silla

Um Zakarya said...

Assalamu Aleykum,

Just put your trust in ALLAH SWT, if it happened this way, it means there is a Khair in it.
You should try not to think about the good times you had with your ex.If it ever happens, try to think about the reasons which made you make this final choice and it might help InshALLAH.

May ALLAH SWT give you a pious and understanding husband InshALLAH.Ameen.

Zahra said...

I couldn't agree more with your final whisper. Allahu Alim sister... you know sometimes it might seem that we're the only ones who have gone through/are going through these things but, Ya Allah, there are soo many broken hearts which walk around us! Allah give you and all of us rest and peace. I do pray Allah SWT gives you that special one you deserve. Inshallah, Ameen :)

Oh, and you have a wonderful blog Mashallah :)

HF said...

Ya know, even when you find another man whose much better for you (i pray that happens enshallah) Abu Azooz will always be a part of you. He will always have a lil piece of your heart. So these thoughts and feelings are completely natural.

This post reminded me of the 'Hadith of Umm Zara' you can read it here
http://asmakarif.wordpress.com/2008/12/31/hadith-of-umm-zara/

I pray Allah eases your pain :)

UmmKhaled said...

aww this post made me really sad...I am having a nostalgic homesick kind of day... :(

Texan, after UAE said...

Thank you sisters for all y'alls kind words. I took each and everyone's words in my mind to ponder on. Allah bless y'all.

truth said...

YOU SAID :
As I was driving tonight with my kids, I turned to my daughter and said, "I know he loved me." She looked at me and said, "Mom, sometimes when people are hurt they say spiteful things." I think thats why he told you, 'I stopped loving you a while back.' And in turn you told him something that hurt him."
ME:I THINK and still hope, and it is possible you and abu azooz can come together insha allah (yes, only “if” god willing.).
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong”.(mahatma Gandhi)
I believe you and abu arooz are not that weak to forgive each other. The soothing word “ I AM SORRY” should come from the strongest among one of you.
The question is, who will be the strongest among both of you to say “ I am sorry ” first?...... Umm arooz or abu arooz?..
By reading your opinion about your FIL and MIL’s love on you, I am sure of your reunion is possible if they try for this cause.
I think they are more happier if you both can live together forgetting and forgiving each other of the past forever.
If you approach them with a conciliatory manner, “sure” they will try their level best for this noble cause, insha allah.
If you still think there is no way for reunion, my prayers for a right person for re-marriage.

truth said...

my prayers from deep from my heart sister.

SS said...

YOU SAID :
As I was driving tonight with my kids, I turned to my daughter and said, "I know he loved me." She looked at me and said, "Mom, sometimes when people are hurt they say spiteful things." I think thats why he told you, 'I stopped loving you a while back.' And in turn you told him something that hurt him."
ME:I THINK and still hope, and it is possible you and abu azooz can come together insha allah (yes, only “if” god willing.).

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong”.(mahatma Gandhi)

I believe you and abu arooz are not that weak to forgive each other. The soothing word “ I AM SORRY” should come from the strongest among one of you.
The question is, who will be the strongest among both of you to say “ I am sorry ” first?...... Umm arooz or abu arooz?..
By reading your opinion about your FIL and MIL’s love on you, I am sure of your reunion is possible if they try for this cause.
I think they (your FIL and MIL) are more happier if you both can live together forgetting and forgiving each other of the past forever.
If you approach them with a conciliatory manner, “sure” they will try their level best for this just cause,… insha allah.

If you still think there is no way for reunion, my prayers for a right person for re-marriage.

Because life is beautiful.

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