Saturday, June 11, 2011

No One Really Wins


craving: to always see my son happy

Salam Alykom and hello to all my readers I hope everyone is having a great weekend. For my friends in the middle east, your weekend is over today. I hope y'all made the best of it. On to my entry.

This past year has been very hard on me. The only thing that has kept me in good faith is God. When I was in despair, I cried out to him. I always had hope and faith my situation would get better.  My feelings of being away from somewhere where I was going to make my life and people I loved/still love were all over the place. Sometimes in life you have to listen to your heart and try to make the best descion for you and the ones you love. My decision was to stay in America. It was a hard decision, but at the end of the day I'm not going to make a decision that will harm my son and daughter. I don't think any mother would. I would of never thought almost, ten years later, I would be in this situation. Divorce is never easy and the kids are the ones that suffer.. Unfortunately.

Both parents being in the same city is  hard on the kids, imagine thousands of miles away?

Well, I'm sure everyone wants to hear what the verdict of who our son will stay with ... The judge decided it would be best if our son stayed with me. Am I happy? Yes, of course. I love my son and always want him with me. But, on the other hand, I'm also compassionate towards his father in this sense. I threw everything we went through out the window. Him and I are over as husband and wife. Now my main concern is how my son and his father will keep in touch as much as possible.  I'll do all it takes to make sure that my son will stay in touch with his father whom he loves and adores and vice versa.

What this entry is really about.... No one really wins in a divorce. It's a sad situation on both parts. My son's father loves him and he is a caring father. We just now have to work together to keep him and our son's realationship open and happy. I'm all for that. One million percent for that. What happened between him and I is between us and now it's over. Now the real work will start. That's trying to keep their loving father-son realationship together. Nothing is easy in this life, but when you work hard at it, and you have people who are willing to work with you, it's easy. I know that Abu Azooz (father of azooz) will try his best to always keep in touch with his son.

I will start my life now. Everything in the past is over and the main point now is doing everything I can to keep my son's father in his life. Showing my son what a beautiful, rich culture he has. Talking to him about his loving family back in United Arab Emirates. Getting an Arabic teacher to start teaching him how to speak Arabic the right way. I don't pronounce the words correctly and I want my son to learn the right way.  Telling him that someday he will see his family again. God's willing. Yesterday as I was driving, this song came on called I'm Already There by Lonestar. I couldn't contain my tears.. It's the father telling his family  he will never be far away from them.

 Well, Monday is going to be a hard day for Abu Azooz  and I. Abu Azooz will say good-bye to his son. I know this isn't easy for him. But, I'm praying that he comes to see him often. Skype is always good, too. I ask Allah (God) to give my son and his father a nice loving, caring, strong relationship and to make everything easy for all of u.

final whisper: on to another chapter in my life.. Good bye Abu Azooz. May Allah give you everything you ask for in your life and  reward you for the good times and love you showed us. You will always be in my prayers. I always want good for you. Sorry everything had to happen like this. But, Allah knows what's best for us and we just have to say, "Alhamdullah" (thank you God). You have taught me many things in this life, I will take the good and run with it. I hope you always remember the good times we had. You gave me the best thing in this life. Our son. Just know, he will be taken care of and he is very much loved.


Kitten said...

Stay strong , for yourself and your son's sake. Hugs.

Melissa said...

It's always hard on the kids, you're so right. But inshallah their relationship will always be positive.
I think though it's also hard on kids when parents stay together in an unhealthy relationship.
Inshallah he'll come to visit his son. Maybe he can write and send little gifts to him, kids love to get mail! And yeah, there's skype and webcams and lots of ways these days to keep in touch.
I'm truly sorry you had to go through this. ***HUGS***

bosnishmuslima said...

Dear Texan,

alhamdullilah you can keep your son with you. But yes, it's like that, there is no winner and I know it from my experience as I went through a very similar situation and the father of my daughter is also living in the US and we are in Germany.We are living separate since 5 years and he's visiting every three month and spending a few weeks with our daughter. Every time the good bye is a heartbreak for all of us; for both of them obviously and for me because I am the one who see and feel the pain each time and have to console my daughter for the separation. Though alhamdullilah it's working so far and my attitude was always like that, no matter what's between me and him she has the right just to keep a good relationship to her father and nothing should affect this. Alhamdullilah!
May Allah swt. bless you and your family and make the best possible of your situation.

UmmRania said...

Assalamu Alaikum

My big hugs for you today! Your so right, no one wins but I pray that Allah guides you all and gives you all whats best! I love you for Allah!

Nusaybah said...

Assalaamu 'alaykum sis, I pray that Allaah blesses you and guides you always. Sending massive hugs and lots of love.

Faisal Haji said...

A great closure for you and a better start for your son and his father. Keep Your Faith Strong in Allah.

PS: Azooz is not missing much it hotter than Texas here. I miss the cool summer breeze and the painful mosquito bites from Winnipeg :P.

Haitham هيثم Al-Sheeshany الشيشاني said...

I don`t know what to say! I really don`t!

it`s a lose-lose situation no matter how u slice it! :(


I thank you 4 yr last "whisper" , u r a good person dear.

oldie goldie said...

oh habibti, i just came from the summerhouse where i stayed the whole weekend, and run right here to see how you're doing. alhamdulilah for the court decision you got. inshaAllah azooz will have a close relationship to his dad too. love ya sis!

Amina said...

You said it best. No one really wins in a divorce.

This is such an emotional post and I had to blink back the tears.


I love you :)

athoofa said...


May Allah give you and the whole family the best always habibti. This was a beautiful post. I'm happy Azooz will stay with his mommy inshaAllah. Ya Rubb he has a good relationship with his father too.

TesaLili said...

Im all in tears. You are so right, there is no winner in this case.. but alhamdulilah the son is with you and you will teach him everything good. AboAzooz is very lucky his son has this kind of mother. mashaAllah.

I love you sis, you have a golden heart.

TesaLili said...

Im all in tears. You are so right, there is no winner in this case.. but alhamdulilah the son is with you and you will teach him everything good. AboAzooz is very lucky his son has this kind of mother. mashaAllah.

I love you sis, you have a golden heart.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad to see the judge decides for you to keep your son and reading your words I am sure Azooz and his dad will have a beautiful relationship too.
You are so kind and willing to make everything you can for them to create this special bond - It's so lovely to read your words as many couples around me are torn away and don't seem to find a peaceful place to let the love fill the air.

Stay strong and be blessed for your tender heart.

that's me said...

no words
Keep strong and Allah in your heart

Texan, after UAE said...

Thank you everyone for your words. Today he left back to uae. I hope and pray that he will keep in touch with his son. (((hugs))) to everyone... Now my banner (Texan in uae) must change... I ask Allah to bless y'all and to make all our lives easy. <3

Noor said...

Asalam Alaykum, I am sorry for the rough year you and your family have had. May Allah make things to come much smoother for you all Ameen.

I can not even imagine all that you have went and are going through, stay strong.

truth said...

assalamu alaikum sister.
i think still both of you love each is possible you may go back to uae one day.

we all pray for your reunion.
insha allah and aameen.

Alia Dalwai said...

Assalamu Alaikum!
May Allah SWT shield you from sorrow and may he bless you with a long, happy life, Ameen! Inshallah!
I really liked your blog.
Nice posts, Mashallah!
Keep up the good work!

Do visit my blog too!


Elisa said...

Assalaamu alaykum,
I have been a follower of your blog for a while now and I am so very sorry I did not write you sooner. I pray Allah (swt) keeps you and your family strong during this painful time. May He use this situation as a means of good for all of you. Ameen.
I am currently going through a situation of divorce as well so I know how painful it is. Every day I can only rely on the strength of Allah to keep me going and alhamdullilah for everything.

Because life is beautiful.


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