craving: to be left alone and stop being harassed
Salam Alykom and Hola to all my followers .. I hope everyone is having a great weekend. So far the kids and I have had a nice weekend. On to my entry. :)
I guess a lot of you are wondering, why is TEXAN back in TEXAS? Well, it all started last year. I hadn't been back to the States in almost ten years. When we started having problems in the beginning of last year, my son's father suggested my daughter and I come back to visit. I said, "My daughter and I only? No way! I'm not going without my son." He argued with me on that and said I was not to take his son out of UAE without him, his father. I still didn't agree, and thank God my all my in laws were on my side. He told me he would come with my son during our month of Ramadan to pick my daughter and I up. Well, when the news hit his parents, hell hit the fan. His father was very much against it and said, "This is your son;s mom and he will go with her." Basically saying, what's wrong with you. My father in law made sure that my son's father got a passport to the States and off we went. That first week away from UAE, I was honestly hopeful that everything would work out between my husband and I. I trusted him and believed him, even after he was so bad to me. My heart was broken and my mind wasn't as alert as it was before.
They always warned me; They change when they move back to their country. Not all, of course. I know some sisters who have wonderful ARAB husbands. But, it's different. Yeah, they weren't joking when they said this. It's like he turned into a different person. Here I was: I gave up my family and my country to go with a man I loved and adored. If you were to ask me... if I would do it over again. I would because I have grown from these experiences, experiences that a lot of people don't get. I was treated like well until the last year and that's what broke us. I won't say what he has done to me, I feel this is between us and it's something big or I would never be back here in TEXAS. My close friends and family know about it. But, I will not reveal it to anyone else, now.
Ok, sorry I got off track. Well, it's been almost a year since seeing him and I tried to go on with my life. These last couple of months have been getting better.. I started to realize that I will not go back. In this year, I can count on one of my hands how many times my son's father had called. And the money- well let's just say he's sent money only a couple of times. Sad but true. If he wanted us to work out he wouldn't have waited a year to come to Texas to get my kids and I. He showed up on my door step on Sunday without any notice and wanted us back. I knew it wasn't me he wanted back, it was his son he wanted back. But, since it's such a shame for 'ARABS' to divorce, he would of stayed without the love.
Divorce is something very big in our religion and very much disliked by God. However, in cases like mine and many others, we have no choice. I can't ever be in a marriage where the respect is gone. Never. He is here in Texas now and we are battling this out in court. My first court date is soon and we are praying that the judge is in favor for me. My son has been with me, his mother, for his 3 yrs of life. In our religion, the kids stay with the mom for the first 7 yrs if the parents get divorced. This is the shariah law in our religion. If I went back to UAE, my son would automatically stay with me. Plus I would get all the benefits I do deserve, Islamically. If I remarried, he would go to his father. If his father is remarried, he goes to the grandparents. So, that's not the case with us. I won't go back to his country. Period. Now my husband is fighting for custody to take our son away from me and get him back to UAE.
I got my lawyer and will fight for my son. Please pray for me and know that in Islam, the kids stay with the mom (unless she is unfit). Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a good mother- my kids are my life... Money means nothing to me. He can tell me to go back to UAE and tell me that I can get anything I want, like, I used to get, and more. But if that was what I wanted, I would be back there living a miserable life, like that last year I lived. Money is nice, but it can't buy happiness.. No way, no how. I live a humble life now and truly know that happiness isn't all about money. I have diginity and will raise my kids this way too.
A man came to the Prophet and said, "O Allah's Apostle! Who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man said. "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man further said, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man asked for the fourth time, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your father."
Sahih Bukhari, Volume 8, Book 73, Number 2
Sahih Bukhari, Volume 8, Book 73, Number 2
‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr narrated that a woman came to the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam and said: O Messenger of Allah, my womb was a vessel for this son of mine, and my breasts gave him to drink, and my lap was a refuge for him, but his father has divorced me and he wants to take him away from me. The Messenger of Allah sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said to her: “You have more right to him so long as you do not remarry.” [Ahmad & Abu Dawood; classed as hasan by al-Albaani]
I will not let my sons father raise him intolerant to non-Muslims or to Americans. That's just what he wants to do. Raise him to hate America and to hate non-Muslims. This is not Islam. We have enough hate in the world. My kids will never be raised this way by me.
bottom line is... When you marry a man of a different culture, it's very hard and I now know to stick to my fellow Americans. :) So, think long and hard about marrying someone of a different culture. Be it, French, German or Indian. Not just Arabs
BTW: look out for my book... :) coming soon.
final whisper: thanks to all my friends (sisters in Islam) and family & childhood friends for being right beside me in this time in my life. I love y'all. Ameen to all the prayers.