Texan after UAE

Thinking of you... Always...

2012-01-25T23:47:00.001-06:00

mood: nostalgic

craving: to hold my son, Mubarak again.

My beautiful daughter wrote this poem for her little brother, Mubarak. He passed away in 2004. Alhamdulilah (Thank God for everything) inshallah (God's willing) we will see each other in Jannah (Heaven).

For the brother I never got to see except for a single picture. Your tiny feet inked forever on a ray of yellow card.

At twenty weeks you entered this world without a single breath. On mom's 35th, the day the tsunami shook Sri Lanka to its core.

You shook our hearts, little brother.

We all felt the waves wash over our hearts.

She held you, brother

With a tenderness only a grieving mother could

and then she kissed your forehead as tears rolled down her cheeks.

The next day we buried you

Deep in the frozen ground.

Mom stayed home.

A look of solemn acceptance had taken over her face.

The sky cried frozen snowflakes,

Mourning the loss of you.

You would be 6 this year, brother.

I can almost imagine the front teeth missing from your mouth.

And perhaps the curly jungle you call hair.

I miss you...

Without knowing how or why...

Or maybe it's the thought of what could have been.

I love you, little brother

The way only a big sister could.

My beautiful daughter wrote this for the son we lost back in 2004.

Mubarak we love you. Mubarak means, blessings in Arabic.

Author: Amber (My daughter)

final whisper: “Innaa Lillaahi wa innaa ilayhi raaji’oon (Truly, to Allaah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return

A much needed vacation...

2012-01-22T13:53:00.002-06:00

mood: :)
craving: a night like last night.. <3

A Big, Big Salam Alykom and a Big, Big hello to all my followers out there. I know it's been a very long time, but as I always say, life happens and we gotta deal with it. But, I've missed y'all and I hope y'all missed me. :) I hope everyone had a great New Year and I ask God to give y'all many blessings. I hope everyone achieves y'alls dreams this year and I hope y'all don't let anything stop you from getting what you want. These couple of weeks have been a little busy, but I had y'all on my mind. I'm not usually on the net these days, but it's Sunday today and I promised myself (before going outside with my kids) I would write this short entry to update everyone and take time to give y'all some positive vibes.

final whisper: ‎"I will! I am! I can! I will actualize my dream. I will press ahead. I will settle down and see it through. I will solve the problems. I will pay the price. I will never walk away from my dream until I see my dream walk away: Alert! Alive! Achieved!"

A couple reasons why I choose to become Muslim. Islam is my life..

2011-12-21T11:52:00.002-06:00

mood: Accomplished
craving: a little of this and a little of that.

Salam alykom and Hello. I hope everyone is having a great week. :) Remember, do something special for yourself today. Or better for someone else. Now, on to my entry.

"I am a Muslim woman who not only wants to save the world, I want to show the world what Islam is. Thetruth, not what the western media shows."

- Texan after UAE

Since becoming Muslim several years ago, my mind has really opened. Not only has it opened up to accepting myself as I am, but my mind has opened up to other cultures and other ways of life. Being Muslim is the biggest blessing God has given me. Since my divorce, non Muslims (my family and friends) ask me, are you coming back to Christianity? Let me tell y'all a little secret: I didn't come to Islam because I married a Muslim. I was Muslim before I married him. I simply look at them with a big smile, and say, I'd rather God take my life than me go back to a religion I never understood. The truth is the truth. That's how I feel. Now, I'll show y'all just a couple of the reasons I choose Islam and to become Muslim. Again, we are all entitled to our own choice of religion. Islam works for me and a 1.5 billion (more now) other people in this big world. I never judge anyone for their religion. Heck, I have some of my best childhood friends who practice Christianity and plus my family. I love and respect them dearly. Thank y'all for accepting me as I am and what I choose. I love y'all.

We have a Verse in our holy book;

"To You, Your Religion, To Me Mine" - Quran (Verse- 109)

So, I tell people that when they try to debate with me about Islam. It's simple, you don't like what religion I choose? Just listen to what Allah (God) said in this above verse in our holy book. :)

Now, on to showing y'all just a couple of reasons I choose Islam.. I was amazed and dazed. LOL Seriously.

Now, who could deny these scientific reasons? Scientist are just finding out in the last thirty years what God told us 1,400 years ago in our Holy Quran about these AMAZING miracles. So many have come to join Islam because of these Amazing facts.

Enjoy.

In the resort town of Skagen you can watch an amazing natural phenomenon. This city is the northernmost point of Denmark, where the Baltic and North Seas meet. The two opposing tides in this place can not merge because they have different densities.

The above picture of the seas have a verse in our glorious Quran. It goes like this.

He has set free the two seas meeting together. There is a barrier between them. They do not transgress. (Quran, 55:19-20)

This is just one reason that I choose Islam. I'll give y'all one more and the rest will be up to y'all to explore our religion.

The Quran on Human Embryonic Development:

In the Holy Quran, God speaks about the stages of man’s embryonic development:

We created man from an extract of clay. Then We made him as a drop in a place of settlement, firmly fixed. Then We made the drop into an alaqah (leech, suspended thing, and blood clot), then We made the alaqah into a mudghah (chewed substance)... ¹(Quran, 23:12-14)

A Brief Illustrated Guide to Islam

The above link y'all will find easy explanations of our religion. Thanks for all the emails asking about Islam and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to tell y'all a little about my religion. Please pardon me. Y'all can always look up the nearest Mosque in your area.

final whisper: Ignorance is intolerable. There is no excuse to remain ignorant about Islam.

Always have faith in God because with hardship comes ease.

2011-12-20T11:36:00.002-06:00

mood: :) :) :) :) :) :)

craving: some hot soup at La Madeleine with some great sisters... <3 <3 <3

Salam Alykom and hello to all my sweet readers out there. I hope everyone is having a great week. Don't forget to do something nice for someone today. It will make your heart sing..

Please STOP trying to rain on my parade, because I'm happy. I'm truly happy in my life. I've had a hard year, but God always comes through. I have had and still have faith in Him. Therefore, He has made my heart light and my mind free...
♥ ♥ ♥
-Texan After UAE

final whisper: Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman,but luckier is the woman who is the last love of a man.

Favorite pictures and Quotes..

2011-12-12T14:53:00.000-06:00

mood: : )

craving: some good, good bubble tea....

Salam alykom and hello to everyone. I wanted to share some nice pictures with y'all. <3 Have a nice week.. God bless and be safe.

final whisper: People are funny... They spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't need, to impress people they don't like......

Happy 40th UAE

2011-12-02T13:45:00.001-06:00

mood: :)
craving: to celebrate national day

Salam Alykom and Hello to all my sweet readers out there. I know I've been away for a while. Tt's just that I really have had writers block. : / But, nonetheless, I'm here now and that's what matters. I hope and pray that everyone is doing well and achieving the goals in your life. Can you believe 2011 is almost over? My birthday is right around the corner.
Abo Azooz surprised our son (Azooz) on Thanksgiving Day. He showed up and the look on Azooz's face was priceless. Azooz actually stayed with Abo Azooz at his hotel last night. Needless to say, I didn't sleep at all. Imagine being with your child for almost four years 24/7 and then him not being there with you. But, I always want to be fair to Abo Azooz and his time with his son is very short. I pray that his relationship with his son will flourish and get better as the years go by. So, that's my little random for the month of November. On to my short sweet entry. Be safe and take care. To all you Emiraties out there, don't party to much. Be safe.

The legend of a visionary leader

No one can deny that His Highness Sheikh Zayed bin Sultan (may God have peace upon him) was the most influential ruler of all time. His dedication to his people isn't seen anywhere and will never be matched. His love and admiration are unforgettable. Years ago I read that he said none of his people will be homeless and he will provide financially for his people to own their own homes. That to me shows that his heart was made of gold and his mind wasn't only for himself. He was a simple man, never living a day without thinking of his people. Not only did he think of his people, but others outside of United Arab Emirates who don't have the means of support from their governments. He helped all, not only Emiratis. If you look at his face, light radiates from it. I ask Allah (God) to forgive his sins and give him the highest place in Heaven. Ameen

So, now the Emiratis celebrate the birth of the UAE in its 40th year.

When I first arrived in UAE, the 36th anniversary was being celebrated. Now it seems that time has flown by so quickly. I can still remember driving around the Corniche in Abu Dhabi where it was packed to the fullest. All I heard were the cheers of the Emirati citizens celebrating their country. It's nothing like the 4th of July here in America- it's not just hot dogs and fire works, it's genuine happiness for the birth of their country and the peoples' happiness.

My sons father brought him the UAE flag.

final whisper: Long live Emirates!

God take me where I belong..

2011-11-05T15:27:00.001-05:00

mood: :)

craving: mixed grill with my sisters in uae.

I don't belong here in the States, my home is UAE. I long for it every second God gives me my breath to breathe, my heart to beat and my voice to speak. I want to go back to my home, because God only knows where I am now. My heart is sad, my voice is weak and my breath is cold. God take us back to the home I long for. Ana bahabek UAE I love you.

final whisper: Happy Eid to everyone.

A sad day for my kids and I.

2011-10-27T16:51:00.004-05:00

Forever treasured

mood: sad
craving: to pet my cat.

Salam alykom and hello to all my readers out there. I hope everyone is having and has had a great week, this week has been kinda hectic: my son has been sick and he let our house cat outside and she ran away. Aside from a cat I had years back, Mosha was the top notch cat we've had. I just hope she comes home soon.

........I can't stop crying. My daughter just came home from school and she came in crying. I was shocked and asked her, "What's wrong?!" She said, "Mom, Mosha is dead. She's dead next to our house." I will miss you, Mosha.

"I will always remember the cat who taught me that not all relationships are meant to last forever. Sometimes, just an hour is enough to touch your heart.”

"Who can believe that there is no soul behind those luminous eyes!"

"A meow massages the heart."

Sleep, my little one, sleep

final whisper: “Grief is so painfully real, regardless of its origin. The love of, and attachment to, an animal friend can equal that of human relationships. Likewise, the loss of an animal can be just as devastating.”

Inside my head..

2011-10-14T23:32:00.003-05:00

シ mood: peaceful ☮

craving: tomorrow with my Muslim sisters❣

I have confidence in who I am. I may not always BE confident in life, but I know who I am inside, and I love me. :)

❤

❤ final whisper: Congratulations dad! ❤

♥℘.s. Æ ℓ٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥υ♥

❤

The Strange Quiet

2011-10-09T15:50:00.007-05:00

mood: Nostalgic

craving: Italia

Salam Alykom and Hello to all my followers. Over the years, I recalled stories of my past to my daughter. Today, she is writing a post solely about a few memories that mean very much to me. By writing this blog post, she is helping me in more than one way. Her writing is fantastic; and she is writing through the voice of me. Enjoy!

Today I woke up to grey clouds hanging low in the sky and rain tapping salutations to my roof. My house was strangely quiet- that kind of quiet that befalls a house when everyone is soundly sleeping. I lay in bed listening to my two kids breathing in and out, in and out.

from left to right; Michael Angelo 1971-1997- Arrelyo (Lucia's Husband) - Marrico

There is something about rain that brings about my thoughts of nostalgia. Of course, I frequently dwell on the spirits of the past, but today is an exceptionally nostalgic day. My mind is hopelessly trying to recall the finer details of dead memories. Laying in bed with the goose-down cover snugly embracing me, reminds me of laying in bed with my Italian girlfriends and smiling at the previous day's events.
Italy never seemed so far as it does today.

I remember, twenty years ago, being fascinated by the new neighbors on the block. Their handsome, dark hair and eyes even shone in the Texas heat. I was introduced to them and found out the inevitable: they were Italians, straight from that artistic country everyone wishes they could live in. Michael Angelo, Lucia, Ivana, Gian Luca- pronounced (John Luca) Gian Luca is Ivana's boyfriend and now Husband and Marianna... those were the beautiful names of the ones I was closest with. We spoke, laughed and ate together. I was taught, little by little, one of the romantic languages. A few months into our friendship, I could speak un poco italiano.

Lucia's mom and dad. :)

We would dream about traveling to Italy together and strolling through the famous olive tree farms. And while we would dream, Lucia would be making homemade Italian food just for my American taste buds to enjoy.
"Kristina," she would tell me, "the pizza here is bad! It's too thick. It's not good."

As I was laying in bed, thinking about my Italian memories, I got a call from one of my good friends all the way in England. I told him the stories of my friends, and he responded with enthusiasm, saying we could try and get a hold of them again. I rose out of bed and walked over to my closet. Inside, I keep a box full of the more physical memories of my past in the form of pictures. Looking through everything, I found letters that I would receive from Italy.

I will forever remember the good times I had with them. And I have the rain to thank for this.
--------------------------------------------------

What do y'all think about my lovely daughter's artistic writing skills? If I do say so myself, she's pretty awesome... Thanks, Amber, for this awesome guest post. I love you and am so proud of you. I wish I had all the pictures of us, but my Dad sent them all to me when we lived in the United Arab Emirates. Unfortunately I can't get them back.

My daughter is always asking about my past and I always have a nice story for her. I swear, I regret nothing from my past, it made me who I am today. Thanks, Past. Almost twenty years ago, I had some great friends from Italy. I had such great memories of them. We had a lot of fun and they taught me Italian . I picked up fast since I know Spanish and the rest is history. I await our next meeting. Someday. One of them in particular was my next door neighbor. His name was Michael Angelo. Yeah, really, that was his name. He was fun and very down to earth. He was stationed at Laughlin Air Force Base for his flight training, along with all his buddies. He in turn introduced me to one of his best friend's girlfriend, Lucia. Lucia had the biggest green eyes and darkest black hair I've ever seen. She was a beauty.
I'm sure she still is.

I await our next meeting. It might be sooner than I think. :)

final whisper: This is dedicated to Michael Angelo. In 1997 Lucia wrote me and told me the bad news. Michael Angelo's star fighter air plane crashed into the Mediterranean Sea. He died on impact doing what he loved most- flying. I still remember your voice, Mickey. I will never in all my life forget your funny ways. You are missed and will forever be.

1971-1997

Things that make me feel beautiful. :)

2011-10-01T15:16:00.003-05:00

mood: happy
craving: tonight

A great big Salam Alykom and Hello to all my readers out there. I know I've really been neglecting my blog, so this entry will make all the gals (maybe some guys) smile. I hope everyone is in good faith and health. I just don't really have no time to be on the net these days. On to my entry. :)

There's something about spoiling yourself with beauty products that just make your day. I admit my daughter and I just love to shop. That necessarily doesn't mean, every time we go out, we buy something. But, just going to the shopping center and being surrounded by nice stuff makes us smile and I have an excuse to act like a teenage girl with my daughter. So much fun. These are products that I have and love. Honestly, I'm the queen of trying different stuff out. These products that I have purchased are awesome, and I have tried so many though out the years. I think I'll just stick with these, unless I accidentally find another that is better. I'm done searching and some of these I have used for over ten years. So, take a look at what sits on my bedroom dresser crying out for my usage. Happy shopping everyone.

Beauty doesn't come from the looks, It comes from the heart. We are beautiful in different ways.

Feel beautiful so you can look beautiful.

The first product (upper left hand corner) is amazing

ESSENTIAL SHEA TAME AND STYLE POT DE CRÈME. I'm telling y'all, I have tried several PRODUCTS though out the years and this by far (for now) the best. It's a little pricey, but so worth it. I am the type to also try the stuff from wal-mart and other places that are AFFORDABLE. However, I will pay extra for beautiful, soft manageable hair. It conditions and doesn't feel heavy or greasy. For girls with un-ruly curly hair. This product is for you.

Upper right hand (perfume). Everyone who knows me, knows that I can't go with out my perfumes. I just can't imagine life without them. I have the best and I think honestly I could go a little over board when it comes to perfumes. But, hey, I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm a total perfume guru. This recent gift I got is AMAZING, just simply amazing. This should be called "Sexy oud" because it is amazing. When I smelled this love in a bottle, I literally went weak at the knees. BRAVO! for creating such a warm and sensual fragrance that not only respects and has composed the oud in a way that elevates its intensity and animalistic qualities, keeping it earthy and very natural. Kudos to Miss Trish... Keep the amazing sensual scents coming our way. P.S. It's a little harsh on the pocket book. After this gift was given to me, I priced it: $200.00 bucks.

Lower left hand corner. Aveda has got to be my all time favorite product; I've been using it for over ten years. It leaves your curls soft and manageable and has such a great smell. A plus to the people out there who are watching the earth's environment. They are friendly with the earth. A million stars for this product. Get it together with the Fekkai cream, you all won't be disappointed. I promise. Very affordable. $25.00

Left bottom corner. Trish is getting a lot of recognition these days, from her sexy perfumes to her sensual creams. I can't get enough of this. This is such a pretty, feminine fragrance in cream form - it is so girly, but definitely NOT for little girls, if that makes any sense! The blackberry and white rose notes are flirty and young, but with the musk and vanilla, it has a sensuality at its heart too, that gives it depth of character that puts this perfume head and shoulders above pretty much every other "fruity floral" fragrances out there. Perfect for a woman of any age! Much better than its next closest imitator, Philosophy's Falling in Love. This is much more deep and complex, sort of like a young Victoria's secret.

Upper left hand corner; Now, I just discovered Estee Lauder face creams and I just love them. With in the first five days, you can tell the difference in your face. It glows and only keeps getting better. Go to the nearest department store that sells these products and make sure and get the one that's good for your skin type. You won't be sorry. :) Ya, a little bit pricey, but so worth it. It last long and you'll be buying it at least twice a year.

Right top hand side; Y'all will be happy to know that this foot cream is one of the best I've ever used and that the price is even better. I pay five dollars for a big tub of this. It works on the first application. You will notice your feet will be softer and look like the feet of a new born baby. So, go to your local wal-mart and purchase this . $5 bucks

We all love MAC and I know I just love to play with the vibrant colors they have. These two lip sticks are amazing. Something you should know about Mac, the colors stay even after you eat. The pink is very deep and the light one is sheer but gives you that color that we gals need when we're on the go. I'm in a hurry now, but will be back with the color names.

Happy shopping everyone. My kids are ready to take me on an adventure today. Yep, we are going shopping. :)

final whisper: Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.

The wind of love

2011-09-28T00:47:00.000-05:00

mood: <3
craving: to lay in a bed of flowers

I love the love, because you are the love.

final whisper: Where flowers bloom so does hope.

I waited so long to meet you

2011-09-23T14:59:00.003-05:00

mood: sentimental

craving: to hold you and kiss you forever

Ar Rahman - The Most Gracious

To my beloved son,

The most beautiful thing about having you in my life now is: I get to reminisce about how you always settled down when you were snugly warm inside of me when I would play this surah (verse) in the Quran for you. I always pictured your eyes opening wide, a small smirk and you were just continent when you heard this surah. Many days and nights I played it and longed to meet you and hold you close to me in my arms. Today was something special. I played this verse in our glorious Quran and I reached my arms out to you and you jumped in my arms without hesitation and laid your head on my chest. As I looked down, you closed your eyes, as if you knew just what you were listening to. It eased you and put a smile in your heart. Just holding you in my arms while listening this recitation, brought back memories that I will always remember. Isn't our mind a wonderful blessing from our Lord? I can't thank God enough for the many blessings He has given me.

final whisper: It's not only children who grow. Parents do, too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it myself.

Sundays, manic Sundays...

2011-08-28T14:09:00.003-05:00

mood: Happy

craving: some good biryani with great company :) :) :)

Nothing can compare to a Sunday morning with my favorite little people. Breakfast tacos are always in order and since we are eating healthy, it's healthy breaky tacos for us. No Big Red this weekend; hot tea and water was the thirst quencher. Sad that I can't fast the very last days of Ramadan. But, Allah is most merciful.

I was asked the other day and have been asked in the past months several times,"Why didn't you bring all your stuff with you?" Well, for one, I didn't know I was going to stay here in Texas. And two, what does it matter if I didn't bring my stuff with me? Is that stuff going to make me a better person? I hate this question more than anything. Yes, I left all my stuff back in United Arab Emirates and yes, I do wish I brought some stuff with me. Such as my pictures of my mom and a lot of personal items that meant a lot to me and I hold close to my heart. Including stuff that my grandmothers gave me. But, you know, I look at it this way: that stuff is all material and we won't take it to our graves with us. I will always remember what they gave me and my mother's face is imprinted in my mind and heart forever. How can I ever forget her lovely face? I can't. So, from now on, I'm making more memories for my kids and I. I pray that one day I can go back to UAE, even if it's just to see my son's grandparents+ the rest of the family. I ask Allah to make it easy for my kids and I. It's very different not being married. I solely have to depend on myself and, of course, my dad has helped me so much, by just being a ear to listen to me.

To get something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done.

I usually am not a big talker about my private affairs with anyone. But, there's something about my dad that makes me want to pour my heart out. My sister told me the other day, "Dad is very hurt that you had to endure this heart break." He called her up, just wondering hat he could do to make me get out of my funk, so to speak. She told him, "It takes time, time will heal her heart." You know she was right, I'm healing in a way I never knew was possible. I have patience and I truly have faith in Allah. Allah is what got me through this heartache. It's just one step at a time..My dad is happy to see me this way. He's excited each day to hear my journey and always wants me to smile. Well, I'm sure y'all are happy to know that my life is going in the right direction. One day at a time. Now, off to start my biryani for tonight (rice with chicken). I have company coming over for iftar. I'm cooking for the sisters who are fasting. Happy days are here to stay, with a couple of hardships in there too, I'm sure. But, that's life and if it was perfect we wouldn't have anything to strive for.

final whisper: I hope you always find a reason to smile.

Eid , Texan style

2011-08-27T13:36:00.001-05:00

mood: blah

craving: to get over my cold and cough

Salam Alykom and Hello, I hope everyone is having a great Saturday. I'm sitting here with the sniffles and a RED nose with a tissue box next to me. I hope this cold subsides fast. :p I have to take my kids out today, we'll go shopping later when the weather cools down. On to my entry.

It's hard to believe that Eid is coming right up and this month has really gone by fast. This Eid will be the second one I'm away from UAE. Last Eid I thought I would go back to UAE, so it wasn't so bad. But, this Eid is kinda like the first Eid that my heart strings are pulled down. I'm thinking of ways I can make it fun for my kids and spend it with my sisters whom I love and adore. I have to go out today and buy my kids something new to wear for that most special day. My daughter will be in school, so I have to get her a small gift without her knowing what I got her. I know what to get my son. :) I want every Eid to be special for my kids. We will even get my dad and sisters some gifts, too. Inshallah Abo Azooz (Azooz's father) will call for Azooz, so that should make my son happy. I know Eid won't be as big as it is in UAE. I will miss the jumping to different homes and being exhausted by the end of the night. I'll wake up extra early on the day of eid and pray and then prepare something to eat before my daughter heads off to school. I would of kept her home, but she's been out of school for 3 days because she had surgery. So, I can't take her out. But, after she gets out of school, we will go to one of the sister;s homes here and spend time with everyone. So, it's going to be nice. Inshallah (God's willing). Well, I pray everyone's Ramadan is accepted and Eid is a beautiful day for y'all.

final whisper: This Texan misses everyone back in UAE (even more on the special holidays). I pray that Allah reunites us someday. If not in this life, God's willing in Heaven.

New location for my all sisters forum

2011-08-26T20:05:00.003-05:00

mood: sick
craving: rest and sleep

salam alykom dear brothers and sisters and Hello to all my sisters and brothers in humanity. :) I hope everyone is having a great start to a nice weekend. I think I worked out too hard last night. I felt my throat sore after I finished at the gym and a cold coming, but I thought it would pass. Well, I woke up with a nasty cold. YUCK! Thank God I don't have a sore throat anymore, but my cold and sniffles are vicious. *tissue anyone?* lol I didn't get to work out today, but tomorrow I will hit the gym again. God's willing. My daughter passed her flu to me. Inshallah my son doesn't get it. Amen

on to my short entry.

Well, it's been seven long, wonderful years that I have made this awesome all woman's Islamic forum. Mind y'all, all sisters in humanity are welcomed to our friendly forum. I just ask, no men please. Anyways, we moved the address and it's now in a new beginning. So, come join. The new site is...

The Sisters' Majlis

anyone is welcome. I mean, any sister is welcome. All races and religions are welcomed, just as long as y'all respect our religion.

final whisper: be original

We're okay......

2011-08-23T23:01:00.002-05:00

mood: reflective
craving: late night ice cream....Ben & Jerry's, Red velvet cake? :) :) :)

Be you. Find you. Be happy with that.

Laying here on my bed with my kids is heaven to me. The funniest things come out of my three year old's mouth. He often tells me, "I love you, mama. I love you, a lot." He affectionately kisses my cheek and holds my face close to his. I can feel his breath on me and he stares at me as if he's just studying every part of my face. These moments I spend with my two most precious babies, is priceless. I can't even begin to explain how my world is amazing. Just as long as I have them in my life, I'm alright. I get teary when I think of my daughter starting university in a few years. I warn her and say, "Make room for your brother and I." She laughs and says, "Mommmmmm." I can't let her go. How could I? Everything that has happened in this one year, can make a sane person crazy. But, I never thought I would be typing an entry here so soon telling everyone, "Yes, we're okay. We really are." A lot has happenend since June and I can't wait for the endless possiblites of it getting better. God is good and He truly knows what His slaves can and can't handle. Alhamdulillah (thank you God) .

I love y'all to the moon and back

My kids are my rocks and they make me realize everyday, that life is good. Listening to my son day after day laugh and smile and playing with his little cars, makes my heart beat faster and it over flows with love. Listening to my daughter laughing with my son and teaching him stuff also makes my heart over flow. There's something about cuddling with them in bed and laughing and just hugging them both, that makes me feel that life is really a big blessing. It's the simple things in life that always bring a smile to my face.

final whisper: So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.

Dreams and beauty

2011-08-20T18:50:00.001-05:00

mood: Breezy
craving: New York in Autumn.

Salam Alykom and hello to all my readers. Today is a very lazy day. I had my kids out all day yesterday and it was sooo hot. Unfortunately, my daughter is sick today and school begins on Monday. : / My son and I have been coloring and playing cars and he's been reciting the ABC's to me. Now, on to my entry. I pray that these last ten nights of Ramadan are blessed for all of us truly seeking for forgiveness and whatever you ask for.

I get lost in the beauty
Of everything i see
The world ain’t as half as bad
As they paint it to be.

The quote above is exactly how I feel. I like to think that life is always beautiful, it's just how you look at it. Even when I'm in a bad mood, I can always look at the world as a beautiful place. So many people in this world have different ideas about what beauty is. We were downtown in the city yesterday and each time I would see someone, I would study that person. Honestly, I really don't think there are ugly people in this world. I think everyone has something beautiful about them. Eyes, smile or just the way they present themselves. Truly, beauty is from within. Inner beauty is a serene feeling that makes you feel unique and hence allows you to behave generously. This unique and pleasant behavior of yours makes you gorgeous. After all, a beautiful mind says it all.

Spread the Word!

People really don't realize what true beauty is. From a old tree to an old tethered home. I always seem to see beauty in stuff that's not up to par to a lot of people. I was talking to a friend the other day, I told her, "You know, they can give me a million dollar home that's has nothing touched inside, and then they can give me an old home that is as old as my great, great grandparents. I would take the latter." Why? Because I wanna study the history in it. It's beautiful in my eyes and my mind. To know that someone has a history there. Raised children or just lived alone there, is very intriguing to me. I guess I think to much? I like to think about how different people live in this world. I like to think of the beauty that God has blessed us with. Just give thanks to the endless possibilities that we have as human beings. Possibilities that we can all look beyond.

What is your goal in your LIFE? What do you DREAM to accomplish? What do you HOPE for? Are you as ambitious as you can be? Are you holding yourself back? You can do it. You can do anything you want in this life. Put your mind to it and I promise you will do what you have dreamed about for so long. It takes ambition and determination. Get some paper and write down what you want in your life. Take a step at a time. You will get there. No one said life is easy. Ruin is a gift. It is the road to transformation.You can't just sit back and look at life through a fish lens. You have to go out and do it. Don't expect it to come to you. Go out there and get it before it's too late. Life is short. Do it now before it's to late.

final whisper: begin. explore. create. shine.

Green birds

2011-08-12T14:07:00.001-05:00

mood: empathetic

craving: World peace

Salam Alykom and hello to my followers.I hope all my sisters and brothers are having a great Ramadan. I really haven't had a lot of time on the net these days, but I plan (after Ramadan) to catch up. I've been a bit busy. All is well here; this month has brought us a lot of blessings and some news that has hit home hard. After hearing about some of my closest friends' loss (their husband and father) I can't stop thinking of the family. The last time I had a heartache like this was when my first born son passed away. But, of course it's different. None the less, it's a big heartache and when I think of them all, my heart beats faster and I can't help but pray for them. Now, on to my entry.

A dream woke me up in tears last night. It was such a vivid one. I was in the mountains in Washington State with my dad and daughter. I got a phone call from my sister (in Islam) that lost her husband and son in Libya. She was crying and said, "Where were you? I tried calling and you weren't home. I had to do one of the hardest things in the world today. I had to let the green bird go to Jannah (Heaven) and now he's free." She hung up. I turned to my dad and daughter and told them what she had told me. My dad wiped a tear from his eye and my daughter couldn't help but cry. It was a touching dream. Soon after I got myself together, I called her. To hear her voice soothed me. She's a strong woman and I ask Allah to give her patience. She just lost her son and husband. I told her, "Time will heal" But right now with all her company coming to see them and people calling to see how they are, it's hard to find time to just think alone. When people stop calling so much and 'life just happens', she will realize what exactly happened. I think she's in shock now. What makes her so strong -and I heard it in her voice- is her faith and her Islam. It's okay to feel sad, we are human and we have to cry in order to release our heartache. It's normal. At the end of a sad moment, we as Muslims always say, Alhamdulilah (Thank you God)

But you may dislike something which is good for you, and you may like something which is bad for you. Allah knows while you do not know. [Noble Quran 2:216]

In Islam, when someone passes away, like a small baby/child or someone who dies for the cause of Allah (God) like our two brothers (Mabruk Eshnuk and Malik)... this is what is said.

He said: We asked the meaning of the verse (from the Holy Prophet) who said: The souls, of the martyrs live in the bodies of green birds who have their nests in chandeliers hung from the throne of the Almighty. They eat the fruits of Paradise from wherever they like and then nestle in these chandeliers. Once their Lord cast a glance at them and said: Do ye want anything? They said: What more shall we desire? We eat the fruit of Paradise from wherever we like. Their Lord asked them the same question thrice. When they saw that they will continue to be asked and not left without answering the question they said: O Lord, we wish that Thou mayest return our souls to our bodies so that we may be slain in Thy way once again. When He (Allah) saw that they had no need, they were left (to their joy in heaven).

Masruuq [ra] said: "We asked Abdullah Ibn Mas'ud about this verse: “And do not think of those who have been killed in the cause of Allah as dead, rather, they are alive with their Lord and are being provided for."
[Surah ali' Imran, 3: 169]

final whisper: "Verily, along with every hardship is relief." (Al-Quran 94:5) We are thinking and praying for y'all.

We are proud...

2011-08-07T16:48:00.005-05:00

mood: Disheartened

craving: to be there for the family who lost their father and brother due to martyrdom in Libya

Mabruk Eshnuk (left) and his son Malik left their home in Pittsburgh to volunteer and fight with rebels in western Libya's Nafusa Mountains.

Please go here to read their story..

My mind is numb now. I have tears rolling down my cheeks. I can't think of anything else than my sisters/brothers (in Islam). They lost their dear husband - father and brother in the war in Libya. When I found this out last night, I couldn't believe it. All I could do is run for my cell phone and dial their number.. I was at loss for words when my dear sister answered. How do I get those words out? I couldn't. My throat felt like it was going to burst and tears were flowing. I'm more than sure it hasn't hit them yet. I know too well what it feels like to lose someone close and you try so hard to get your mind together, only later on to break down. It's normal. Our brothers will be missed. I wish I was there with them to comfort them and to let them know that we care. All I can do now is pray for them, which is the best thing ever..

The reason we are proud of our brothers in Islam,is because they fought in the cause of Allah (God) and they fought the oppressed regime there in Libya. I pray that they get the highest place in Heaven and their sins are forgiven.

Remember a man enters into this world empty handed and leaves it empty handed.
Remember. That everything we have, all the blessings we enjoy, are gifts from Almighty Allah. Gifts that we enjoy for a limited period, until He takes them away whenever He deems fit.

They are a trust from Allah, a loan to you to see how you respond to these gifts and how you use them. In the obedience of the Almighty, thanking Him and worshipping Him……OR……..to the disobedience to the One Who gave then to you in the first place..

Take note of the words of the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) on the occasion of the death of his son, Ibraahim:

'Our eyes are filled with tears, our hearts with grief, but we say nothing with our lips except that which pleases Allah.... Verily, to Allah we belong, and to Him we return.' (Bukhaari)

It has been narrated on the authority of Masruq Who said: We asked 'Abdullah about the Qur'anic verse: "Think not of those who are slain in Allah's way as dead. Nay, they are alive, finding their sustenance in the presence of their Lord..." (iii. 169).

He said: We asked the meaning of the verse (from the Holy Prophet) who said: The souls, of the martyrs live in the bodies of green birds who have their nests in chandeliers hung from the throne of the Almighty. They eat the fruits of Paradise from wherever they like and then nestle in these chandeliers. Once their Lord cast a glance at them and said: Do ye want anything? They said: What more shall we desire? We eat the fruit of Paradise from wherever we like. Their Lord asked them the same question thrice. When they saw that they will continue to be asked and not left (without answering the question), they said: O Lord, we wish that Thou mayest return our souls to our bodies so that we may be slain in Thy way once again. When He (Allah) saw that they had no need, they were left (to their joy in heaven).

Bukhari. Book 20. Hadith 4651.
"Allah is the Wali (Protector, Guardian, Supporter) of those who believe. He brings them out from darkness into light." [Translation of the Quran -Al-Baqarah 2:257.]

Inna lillahi wa inna illahi rajioon ('To Allah we belong and to him is our return.' )
"Be sure we will test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives, but give glad tidings to those who are steadfast, who say when afflicted with calamity: 'To Allah we belong and to him is our return.' They are those on who (descend) blessings from Allah and mercy and they are the once that receive guidance."
(al-Baqarah: 155)

final whisper:
For the father and brother who completed a wonderful family and gave them many years of happiness.
I pray for you, family, from the bottom of my heart. You and your husband have raised amazing children who will hopefully grow stronger with this situation. I can't imagine the pain that you are going through right now. My thoughts and prayers are always with you.

The Quran will always be in my heart...

2011-07-31T16:45:00.005-05:00

mood: loved

craving: Ramadan

Salam Alykom and BIG BIG Ramadan Mubarak to my sisters and brothers in Islam. Hello to my non-Muslim readers. Tomorrow is the start of our beautiful month of Ramadan. To those who don't know what Ramadan is, please go here to read ---> Ramadan ....Now, on to my entry.

My heart is always over whelmed when I listen to our glorious Quran. If you have never heard of our Holy Book, the Quran, please go to the nearest mosque and get a copy. It will have the transliteration in what ever language you read. Did y'all know, that over 10 million Muslims worldwide have memorized Qur'an? When you hear the recitation you feel it with your mind and heart. The Quran is a miracle from God. He promised all man-kind that He would preserve it, so no one can change one single word in our book. We have only one Quran and it's never been changed in the 1,400 years Islam has come to all man-kind. This is what struck my heart strings when I was learning and reading about my religion. I was shocked and amazed. There is so much beauty in our Quran. After all, it is the word of God. The Quran is an effective cure for the soul and by reading it, it can provide a sense of well-being and peace for those who are looking for that peace they've never had before. I and millions of others can attest to this. Well, I didn't want this to be a long, drawn out post, I just wanted to get my point across. I will end it here with a prayer for all.

O Allah (God!) You are my Lord. There is no deity except You. You are my Creator and I am your creature. I try to keep my covenant with You and to live in the hope of Your promise as well as I can. I seek refuge in You from my one evil deeds. I acknowledge Your favors to me; and I acknowledge my sins. Forgive me my sins, for there is no one who can forgive sins except You

اللهم أنت ربي, لا إله إلا أنت , خلقتني وأنا عبدك, وأنا على عهدك ووعدك ماستطعت, أعوذ بك من شر ما صنعت, أبوء لك بنعمتك علي و أبوء بذنبي فاغفر لي, فإنه لا يغفر الذنوب إلا أنت

Allah (God) ! I seek refuge in You from worry and sorrow. I seek refuge in You from impotence and sloth, from stinginess and cowardice, and I seek refuge in You from the burden of debt and from being humbled by men

اللهم إني أعوذ بك من الهم والحزن ، وأعوذ بك من العجز والكسل ، وأعوذ بك من الجبن والبخل ، وأعوذ بك من غلبة الدين وقهر الرجال

O Allah (God)! Grant health to my body. O Allah (God) grant health to my hearing. O Allah (God)! Grant health to my sight. There is no deity except You.

الله عافني في بدني ، اللهم عافني في سمعي ، اللهم عافني في بصري

"La ilaha illallah" meaning "There is no god but God"

Ameen, wa sally Allahuma ala sayedina Mohammed wa sallim taslima katheera.. AMEEN!

The Quran ( ; ,, literally meaning "a recitation"), also transliterated Qur'an, Koran, Qur’ān, Coran, Kuran, and al-Qur’ān, is the central religious text of Islam, which Muslims consider the verbatim word of God (, Allah) and the Final Testament, following the Old and New Testaments. It is regarded widely as the finest piece of literature in the Arabic language. The Quran is divided into 114 suras of unequal length which are classified either as Meccan or Medinan depending upon their place and time of revelation.

final whisper: Ramadan Mubarak everyone!!!! <3

Go here to see what the Quran is.. :)

some things to ponder about... :)

2011-07-29T17:03:00.002-05:00

mood: dreamy
craving: rain

Salam Alykom and Hello to all my followers. This entry is short and sweet. I hope everyone has a great weekend. :)

final whisper: By the way, I'm wearing the smile you gave me.

The story beind every picture..

2011-07-13T17:07:00.002-05:00

mood: Thankful ツ
craving: a SANTANA concert

Salam Alykom & Hello to all my readers out there. Today is the middle of the week for my USA friends, and the weekend has just started for my Saudi followers, tomorrow for my UAE followers. I actually don't know when for the other parts of the Middle East, but none the less, have a fantabulous weekend, my friends. This entry is kinda random. Sometimes I don't know how to put my feelings in writing. Y'all would have to have a chat with me to know how my mind thinks. I like to think I'm a bit eccentric in some ways. I think a lot, and can basically know what a person is thinking if they're sitting next to me. God gave me this gift. I like to put the puzzle together for most people. I'm a problem solver. I like to get into peoples' minds and see the beauty in everyone and everything. I think everyone needs a chance to be heard and I'm just one of those "good listeners" . I'd like to share some photos with y'all. These photos talk to me. Everyone has what they love in life. Photagraphy just dances around me. It makes me smile. Some photos are mine and others are just from the net. Smile with me.

Putting my make up on in front of my dresser listening to Tu Poeta by Alex Campos on my iPad. Incredible song, even if you don't know Spanish. It talks to you. YouTube it. I promise y'all won't be disappointed.

One of my best friends gave this picture frame to me. It stands for everything I believe.

My story will always have a happy ending. Always say, Alhamdulilah (Thank You God) no matter what. Allah knows what's best for His slaves.

I love you, San Antone... <3

My solence

Twenty years ago, one of my friends from Italy introduced to me this most amazing treat. Ever since then, I can't keep it out of my home. Good times. Mi manchi molto, Lucia.

I love my iPad and black berry. I don't know if I could ever leave my BB. But, then again, when you get used to something, it's hard to change.

I can't live without a mac and BB. :)

I hear you calling me, Starbucks..

Berlin, my home away from home. I would like to go back to you, ride in a hot pink convertible Mustang and travel Europe.

Do what the picture says. :) :) :)

I do every night & day.

And I'm here to help.. I hope I have.

I found mine...A big thanks to everyone out there who likes what I stand for, who I am and how I make y'all feel.

My journey has just begun

Extraordinary.

UAE needs her OUD <3

final whisper:

You're never out of my mind

2011-07-11T12:53:00.003-05:00

mood: a heavy heart
craving: a hug from my mom

Salam alykom & Hello to my gorgeous followers. I hope y'all had a great weekend. On to my entry.

Today marks the 15th year I stopped seeing your beautiful face. I miss you, Mom. ♥

Your Mother Is Always With You

Your mother is always with you...

She's the whisper of the leaves

as you walk down the street.

She's the smell of bleach in

your freshly laundered socks.

She's the cool hand on your

brow when you're not well.

Your mother lives inside

your laughter. She's crystallized

in every tear drop...

She's the place you came from,

your first home.. She's the map you

follow with every step that you take.

She's your first love and your first heart

break....and nothing on earth can separate you.

Not time, Not space...

Not even death....

will ever separate you

from your mother....

You carry her inside of you....

Oddly enough, today is also Abo Azooz's 30th b-day. Happy b-day, Abo Azooz. May Allah give you only good in this life.

final whisper: Thank you, Mom, for always being there for me and loving me unconditionally. I miss our crazy times together, miss our movie nights with pizza and tons of junk food. I miss us singing in the car together and laughing so hard we cry. I miss the talks we used to have and dancing in your kitchen. I miss your tight hugs and kisses. I miss you chasing me with your shoe, because I did something wrong. And at the end of the chase we would fall on the floor laughing so hard, with our legs up in the air holding our tummies. I miss you, your voice, your smell and your love.

Mom 1941-1996:- You will always be loved and missed.

just a small moment

2011-07-05T13:00:00.001-05:00

mood: melancholy
craving: sitting and laughing with my special someone

my son holding my daughter's arm as they sleep

As I'm watching my kids interact with each other, I can't help but reflect on how fast the years went by. They're exactly fourteen years and one day apart. I know that's a big difference, but in years to come, it won't be such a big difference. I need and want them to be close to each other. I want them to know they can always count on each other. Trying to pick the pieces of my life up now, I have a lot on my mind and reflecting and watching my kids is what makes me realize how much love I have in my heart. I don't know how to put all my words that I think of in typing type, so y'all can know and feel exactly how I'm feeling. I guess it will always be a mystery to how this Texan is feeling. Somedays are better than others. Somedays, I can care less at what happened. But, we know that's not true. Then that one thing triggers everything and I go back to zero and start all over again. I still cry and I still feel a lot of heartache. I always say, "This is life and this is God's will." But, let me tell y'all something: I always have a positive outlook on my life! It could be worse and I will not give up. I can't. Not for anyone else, but for my self. I know people always say, live for your kids and do for your kids blah blah blah. But, if I only lived for my kids and only did for my kids and didn't take care of me, how would I take care of them? It's always nice that I have a big strong circle of great friends and my dad to support me when I have those down moments. I can't allow myself to have a lot of down moments. I need to be strong and when I think I just can't go on anymore, I ask God to help me. Not to my surprise, when I do call on his help, I feel like a new person.

I feel when I'm writing, I'm in a different world. I have to listen to music when I write, today I'm listening to a lot of 70's.. I feel at peace. I tune my world out and I'm just with my thoughts and my audience who is reading. Sometimes, I know I don't make sense, but what makes sense in this world anymore? My moments have been filled with joy, sadness and every other emotion y'all can think of. Oddly enough, Come Sail Away With Me by Styx just started playing. It's perfect for the way I'm feeling. This entry was kind of random and just about my inner feelings. I wonder when I will stop writing about my feelings. I guess never. I hope the next entry will be something different. I'll think. Well, I should go. My kids are craving my attention now. I have to snap out of this other world and back into reality. I'll be back and I hope this entry didn't have y'all all over the place. I promise I'm not on any drugs. I just got caught up in the moment. I think tonight I'll go out with one of my close friends. I need to vent. Trust me, my venting isn't like the regular. I need to laugh and not talk about the past. I need to feel free. Free of my feelings that I have deep inside of me. I keep telling them to go away and never come back. But, that's next to impossible. I think a person's past life is what defines you. Your life is what makes you you. You either break in the heat of the hard times, or you flourish. I want to flourish and I like to think I am.

This is dedicated to my best childhood friend, Jessica. You are always in my thoughts and prayers and I always think about when we first met each other. I was eight years old and you were six and we had no worries at all. Good times. Now we both have seventeen year olds and they're becoming so close, like we were and are. <3 All my love, hugs and kisses. You are my heart.

final whisper: "In good times and bad times, I'll be on your side for ever more.. that's what friends are for"

Behind closed doors..

2011-07-03T17:54:00.002-05:00

mood: lazy
craving: a little this and a little of that... ❤

Salam alykom and Hola to all my readers out there. I almost have 300 followers. Wow. I just want to say THANKS. When I write, I try to write the exact way I'm feeling from my inner self, my heart. I wish you could hear me talking, it's the exact way that I write. I don't think it's the best, but I try to get my points across the best way I can. Thanks for reading my words,thoughts and concerns about my life and about other peoples' lives. When I'm writing I'm talking to y'all. Even if a lot of entries are about me, you never know if that one entry is really about someone elses life, what they're going though. I never would of thought I would have such a big audience. I like it. I hope that everyone out there reading about my on going life has gotten a tad bit of info about what kind of person I am and what kind of person I've become in the last year. I've learned a lot in my life in the last ten years. So, on to my entry. Have a great 4th of July, my fellow Americans. And to my overseas audience, I'm sure y'all are in dream land about now. :)

When one of my friends or family asks what kind of life I lived in UAE, I say a good one. But, they're really asking, what goes on behind closed doors in a Muslim/Arab/cultured family. I immediately say, I don't wear my scarf inside, I live a normal life, I don't live in a tent. I was treated good: I acted silly, I talked on the phone to my best girl friends, danced in the kitchen while cooking, sang in the shower, watched tv, had a lot of dinner parties, went to my friends' homes, shopped until my little feet couldn't stand anymore, went out to eat with my girl friends and... ready for this? I even drove my very own SUV. I didn't ride on a camel. I did all that. I wasn't beaten or talked to badly and my in laws didn't just pop up when they wanted. We had our own villa. Everyone respected everyone there. So, yeah none of that bad stuff y'all think happened, happened. Or that y'all see on TV. I was a lot more social there than I am here in the states. Meaning, we always had to be somewhere or had guest. Be it, weddings all the time or at family events. The family life here in the States is a lot different than over there. Weekends here in the States are more quiet than the weekends there. I think everything in general is more quiet here and not such a fast pace. I'm finally getting over my culture shock at being over here in the States. It's taken a lot of time, but it's coming.

Last night my childhood best friends came over and they brought their older sister, whom I haven't seen in so many years. She laughed and said, "How'd you like it there? What's the life like?" I answered her and we started talking about the differences. It's amazing how people think that just because you're married to an Arab, you're going to be treated so badly. I've seen more men treat women bad here in this country, than in the Middle East. Remember, I'm talking about my friends, how their husbands treat them. There's a famous quote they have from, UAE. It goes like this, "Arrive in Dubai a woman. Leave there, a princess." Did I leave there a princess? Yeah, I did. I feel that my life there was amazing. I met amazing people from all over the world and then some. I did more than a lot of people I know would ever do in their life. Most of all, I feel like I learned what life is all about. I learned to respect before love. Without respect, there can never be love. That my friends is what happens behind closed doors in the Middle East. Well, at least that was my experience. I'm sure y'all have heard many scary stories. But, thank God it didn't happen in my world.

final whisper:

❤✿ツ

2011-06-26T21:51:00.003-05:00

mood: relaxed
craving: ❤La Madeleine with my sisters ❀

Salam Alykom and Hello to all my followers out there. The weekend is over and we just relaxed all weekend. I hope y'all enjoy your up coming week.

❝Don't change yourself for somebody else. If they don't like the way you are, then find somebody that will love every one of your imperfections.❞

❝It's time to let go.. time to carry on with the show..
don't mourn what is gone, greet the dawn n' I will be standing by your side together we'll face the turning tide.❞

final whisper:❝Take Risks in Your Life"
If u Win, U Can Lead!
If u Loose, U Can Guide!❞

How do you heal a broken heart?

2011-06-22T21:50:00.003-05:00

mood: somber
craving: to see my friends back in UAE. T <3 M <3 C <3 S <3 K <3 I love y'all and miss y'all.

As I was driving tonight with my kids, I turned to my daughter and said, "I know he loved me." She looked at me and said, "Mom, sometimes when people are hurt they say spiteful things." I think thats why he told you, 'I stopped loving you a while back.' And in turn you told him something that hurt him."

I sighed and said, "Yeah, maybe your right. No, you're right." I turned the radio louder, as if I wanted to drown out the silence. I started reminiscing about all the good and crazy times we had together. I wondered when this hurt was gonna stop. Is he the only man in my life that I will love? Is he gonna be the only man to laugh at my crazy jokes and no matter what crazy faces I would make while we were joking. Just to see the look in his eyes when he would laugh at me, was priceless. Whose gonna sit in front of me while I'm putting my make-up on and stare at me and watch me as I put every color on my face. Whose going to be that one person who's gonna love me for me? I know it sounds funny, but I've loved one man in my life and it's Abu Azooz. How will I love another? Alas, it's over. I pray that Allah puts that love in my heart when the right man comes in my life and I love him for the sake of God and treat him with respect and in turn he does the same. I'm not ready to marry anytime soon. And as a Muslim woman, we don't date. But, when that time does come. I pray God sends someone with a strong deen and someone who will respect me. I won't take anything less. I deserve this. "I've learned- That writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains." <--- Thanks, Miss Dreamer.. I do miss you. <=== What a awesome blog.

Side note; anyone who tells me to go back with him. I can't.. This is simply my little rant for the day. I get to do this. Writing puts everything in perceptive for me.

final whisper: "Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met."

Some more thoughts...

2011-06-21T23:13:00.000-05:00

mood: reflective
craving: that hug from one of the most amazing women in the world - My son's grandmother.

Salam Alykom to my brothers and sisters and Hello to my lovely non-Muslims. I hope everyone is having a great week. I'm sure y'all are ready for the weekend. I know I am. That's the only time I get to spend with some of my special sisters. <3

Azooz and his grandfather

Today has been one of those days. I spent some time chatting with my sister in law. Can I still call her that? Well, she is my sister in Islam. So, I can say my sister, my sister who I miss with all my heart. I was telling her today a lot of what I felt. I told her, "Well, I have to admit, I got a lot of good things out of this marriage. I met the most amazing family in the world, who I will always love and cherish and never forget." In turn she said something that made my heart melt. I'll be humble about it and just keep it between her and I. She was concerned if I'm happy and so sad that all this had to happen. Mostly concerned that this will affect our son and he's the one who will suffer. Sadly, that's what happens in divorce. Knowing that this situation is such a different case (since his father doesn't live here in the states) we will have to treat it different. I was thinking about everything that we chatted about while I was washing dishes a little bit ago. Tears fell down my cheeks. I couldn't help but remember my mother in law and how when I first met her, she came up and hugged me and greeted me with the warmest smile. I knew that I was right where I should be. Her hugs always felt so warm and I felt the love she had for me immediately.

I miss you
I miss your smile
And I still shed a tear
Every once in a while
And even though it's different now
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go
And I need you to know
I miss you

All in all, I thought about not writing about my past anymore and what I feel and felt then. But, you know this is a healing process and I had ten years with Abo Azooz (father of Azooz) and it won't go away just like that. It takes time. Plus, this is my blog and I get to write what I want. :) I'm moving on. They say time heals. They're right. Time does heal. This journal is a therapy for me and it feels good to reflect on good times with the people I love. I like to always write positive things about people I love. Even if no one ever read my blog again, it would still comfort me to know that I'm writing for a good cause. I try to help people out there in the world, struggling maybe with issues like mine. If not like mine, they're different and let them know that life isn't perfect. There are many struggles and heartache in life. If there wasn't, there would be no purpose to strive for better.

Nothing is predestined: The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings.

I've said in other blog entries: if I've helped one person out there, that would make me feel awesome. If I made one person smile after or while they're having a bad day, I would be so happy. I ask God to always make us appreciate the big and small things in this short life and always strive for better. I ask Him to protect us from the bad out there and to keep us on the straight path always.

Many of my friends and family ask me, "If you had to do it all over again, would you?" I reply without a thought. YES and YES and YES again and again. With a big smile. I don't regret a thing in my life. I really don't. The last ten years of my life was like a fairy tale. My son was the best gift I got out of all this. The second best thing was getting to know my in laws and sharing my love with them and in turn them giving me their love and showing me what genuine people they are. May God protect them always and give them good in this life and the hear after and forgive their shortcomings AMEEN

We miss y'all. Yes, we do. Much love and many kisses and hugs. I will never in my life forget how you made us feel. My sons reflection is y'all. I promise he will know y'all.

Dearest Aboya (my father in law) & Yumma (Mother in law) I will always remember all the love you gave us. Y'all will forever be in my heart and most importantly my prayers.

final whisper: Never regret anything because at one time it was exactly what you wanted

A new beginning...

2011-06-18T15:46:00.001-05:00

mood: nostalgic
craving: vanilla coke

salam alykom and hello to everyone. It's gorgeous outside today, I just wanna be out all day with my kids and have some fun. My childhood best friends are coming over in about 30 minutes, so I'm sure I won't finish with this entry. But, I'll try. Have a nice rest of the weekend, my dolls. To my Middle eastern sisters and brothers, I hope y'all had a nice weekend, because it's work tomorrow for y'all.. Have a blessed week and don't forget to always smile... :) :) :)

my mom when she was 30

Well, today marks my late mother's birthday. I think of her everyday and I don't need a birthday to think of her. But, I can't help to think how she loved birthdays. She would of been 70 years old today. I can't imagine what she would of looked like if she was alive today. She was always such a charismatic, beautiful, gentle lady. Just to give you an example of my mom: I would come home from school when I was a teen and my friends would be visiting with my mom. They would love to talk to her and ask her for advice. She was always good at giving advice and always so positive in any bad situation. She would always know what to tell you and have you smiling and laughing at the end of the conversation. She was my best friend. I miss her. But, this is life and there's one thing that we can't get away with. That's death . All of us will face it one day. I wish she was here today to give me advice about me starting over in my life. I long for her advice and her smile. I want to hear her soothing voice and feel her arms wrapped around my body. I want to feel her gentle kiss on my head and feel her stroke my hair and tell me, "Everything will be GREAT, Kristina." I want that feeling that only a mother can give. But, now I have to make my path and only go on what I would hear her tell my sisters and my friends when they were having problems. I will always remember her advice. Am I scared about being on my own? Yeah, a little bit. I would be lying if I said, "No." I was very much spoiled in this last marriage and everything was done for me. I didn't have to work and I was dependent on a man. I promise to never do that again, I promise to always depend on my self. The only other man I will always depend on is my most awesome father. He is the most loving, caring man. In my world, he is everything. Boy, do I have a awesome pair of parents. I'm so lucky.

My dad when he was 28

There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.

Today also marks the first time Abu Azooz and I met. What a day! I never would of thought that ten years later, I would be divorced to a man I once loved. My world was complete. Now, I wouldn't say my world is over. I'll just say, it's a new beginning for my two children and I. I pray that I will always be here for my kids and I will be the best mother. It means so much to me to see them always smiling. They're my world. My seventeen year old daughter texted this to me the other day.

Her and I were having a conversation before she went to school. I went to brush my teeth and when I came out , she was gone. She texted me a bit later from school and she said, "I love you." This is when Abu Azooz came and I was just really confused and she didn't want to go back to UAE.. So, here it is..

9 months old.. My beautiful daughter Seventeen years ago.

Daughter: Are you okay? I wanted to talk to you this morning, but I left.

Me: Yeah, a little distorted

Daughter: You can make a good life for yourself, even if you just make baby steps. You could be a photographer and charge for pictures! You can make yourself successful! You're an awesome Make-up artist and people want you to work for them when we always go look at make-up.You can do what you love and not look at it as 'work'. Not everything is hard. It's only hard if you make it hard. I know you have been through so much this past year, but please Mom, you have to be strong. I know what he's offering is very tempting. It's even tempting to me. But I don't want to go back. Nothing is going to make this situation better. If you DID write a book, the book would be amazing. Because your life has been amazing. And you're a beautiful, wise woman.You don't have to rely on a man for money, Mom. If we work together, my little brother will have a great life here in America. It's possible. Mom, you can have a good life here in America! You just have you want it.

I know you know what you want. Don't be scared. Conquer your fears.. Just do it.

Ya, that's my daughter. She's a pretty amazing for a seventeen year old. I've never met anyone like her. As matter of fact, everyone who meets my daughter , are always very shocked at how mature and smart she is. Sometimes I think my mom lives in her. I'm very blessed and thankful to God for all the blessings He's giving us. I'll make it. Inshallah. (only with the will of God) Here's to a new beginning.. Let's see what the world is gonna offer me... Or better yet, let's see what I can offer the world.

final whisper: The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning.

No One Really Wins

2011-06-11T14:08:00.000-05:00

mood:................................

craving: to always see my son happy

Salam Alykom and hello to all my readers I hope everyone is having a great weekend. For my friends in the middle east, your weekend is over today. I hope y'all made the best of it. On to my entry.

This past year has been very hard on me. The only thing that has kept me in good faith is God. When I was in despair, I cried out to him. I always had hope and faith my situation would get better. My feelings of being away from somewhere where I was going to make my life and people I loved/still love were all over the place. Sometimes in life you have to listen to your heart and try to make the best descion for you and the ones you love. My decision was to stay in America. It was a hard decision, but at the end of the day I'm not going to make a decision that will harm my son and daughter. I don't think any mother would. I would of never thought almost, ten years later, I would be in this situation. Divorce is never easy and the kids are the ones that suffer.. Unfortunately.

Both parents being in the same city is hard on the kids, imagine thousands of miles away?

Well, I'm sure everyone wants to hear what the verdict of who our son will stay with ... The judge decided it would be best if our son stayed with me. Am I happy? Yes, of course. I love my son and always want him with me. But, on the other hand, I'm also compassionate towards his father in this sense. I threw everything we went through out the window. Him and I are over as husband and wife. Now my main concern is how my son and his father will keep in touch as much as possible. I'll do all it takes to make sure that my son will stay in touch with his father whom he loves and adores and vice versa.

What this entry is really about.... No one really wins in a divorce. It's a sad situation on both parts. My son's father loves him and he is a caring father. We just now have to work together to keep him and our son's realationship open and happy. I'm all for that. One million percent for that. What happened between him and I is between us and now it's over. Now the real work will start. That's trying to keep their loving father-son realationship together. Nothing is easy in this life, but when you work hard at it, and you have people who are willing to work with you, it's easy. I know that Abu Azooz (father of azooz) will try his best to always keep in touch with his son.

I will start my life now. Everything in the past is over and the main point now is doing everything I can to keep my son's father in his life. Showing my son what a beautiful, rich culture he has. Talking to him about his loving family back in United Arab Emirates. Getting an Arabic teacher to start teaching him how to speak Arabic the right way. I don't pronounce the words correctly and I want my son to learn the right way. Telling him that someday he will see his family again. God's willing. Yesterday as I was driving, this song came on called I'm Already There by Lonestar. I couldn't contain my tears.. It's the father telling his family he will never be far away from them.

Well, Monday is going to be a hard day for Abu Azooz and I. Abu Azooz will say good-bye to his son. I know this isn't easy for him. But, I'm praying that he comes to see him often. Skype is always good, too. I ask Allah (God) to give my son and his father a nice loving, caring, strong relationship and to make everything easy for all of u.

final whisper: on to another chapter in my life.. Good bye Abu Azooz. May Allah give you everything you ask for in your life and reward you for the good times and love you showed us. You will always be in my prayers. I always want good for you. Sorry everything had to happen like this. But, Allah knows what's best for us and we just have to say, "Alhamdullah" (thank you God). You have taught me many things in this life, I will take the good and run with it. I hope you always remember the good times we had. You gave me the best thing in this life. Our son. Just know, he will be taken care of and he is very much loved.

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

2011-06-05T19:08:00.002-05:00

mood: hopeful
craving: a walk in the rain

Salam Alykom and Hello to all my followers and readers... This weekend was nice and we got to spend a lot of time with some of my closest friends... One of my best friends is here from, Del Rio, Texas. Her and her daughter. I can't wait to have a full week with her. Here's a upbeat post for all you out there who need to smile. :) I know when I saw this, it made me smile.

final whisper: Nice having you around V & A - this update is for y'all ;)

Not without my son

2011-06-04T16:15:00.001-05:00

mood: always happy
craving: to be left alone and stop being harassed

Salam Alykom and Hola to all my followers .. I hope everyone is having a great weekend. So far the kids and I have had a nice weekend. On to my entry. :)

I guess a lot of you are wondering, why is TEXAN back in TEXAS? Well, it all started last year. I hadn't been back to the States in almost ten years. When we started having problems in the beginning of last year, my son's father suggested my daughter and I come back to visit. I said, "My daughter and I only? No way! I'm not going without my son." He argued with me on that and said I was not to take his son out of UAE without him, his father. I still didn't agree, and thank God my all my in laws were on my side. He told me he would come with my son during our month of Ramadan to pick my daughter and I up. Well, when the news hit his parents, hell hit the fan. His father was very much against it and said, "This is your son;s mom and he will go with her." Basically saying, what's wrong with you. My father in law made sure that my son's father got a passport to the States and off we went. That first week away from UAE, I was honestly hopeful that everything would work out between my husband and I. I trusted him and believed him, even after he was so bad to me. My heart was broken and my mind wasn't as alert as it was before.

They always warned me; They change when they move back to their country. Not all, of course. I know some sisters who have wonderful ARAB husbands. But, it's different. Yeah, they weren't joking when they said this. It's like he turned into a different person. Here I was: I gave up my family and my country to go with a man I loved and adored. If you were to ask me... if I would do it over again. I would because I have grown from these experiences, experiences that a lot of people don't get. I was treated like well until the last year and that's what broke us. I won't say what he has done to me, I feel this is between us and it's something big or I would never be back here in TEXAS. My close friends and family know about it. But, I will not reveal it to anyone else, now.

Ok, sorry I got off track. Well, it's been almost a year since seeing him and I tried to go on with my life. These last couple of months have been getting better.. I started to realize that I will not go back. In this year, I can count on one of my hands how many times my son's father had called. And the money- well let's just say he's sent money only a couple of times. Sad but true. If he wanted us to work out he wouldn't have waited a year to come to Texas to get my kids and I. He showed up on my door step on Sunday without any notice and wanted us back. I knew it wasn't me he wanted back, it was his son he wanted back. But, since it's such a shame for 'ARABS' to divorce, he would of stayed without the love.

Divorce is something very big in our religion and very much disliked by God. However, in cases like mine and many others, we have no choice. I can't ever be in a marriage where the respect is gone. Never. He is here in Texas now and we are battling this out in court. My first court date is soon and we are praying that the judge is in favor for me. My son has been with me, his mother, for his 3 yrs of life. In our religion, the kids stay with the mom for the first 7 yrs if the parents get divorced. This is the shariah law in our religion. If I went back to UAE, my son would automatically stay with me. Plus I would get all the benefits I do deserve, Islamically. If I remarried, he would go to his father. If his father is remarried, he goes to the grandparents. So, that's not the case with us. I won't go back to his country. Period. Now my husband is fighting for custody to take our son away from me and get him back to UAE.

I got my lawyer and will fight for my son. Please pray for me and know that in Islam, the kids stay with the mom (unless she is unfit). Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a good mother- my kids are my life... Money means nothing to me. He can tell me to go back to UAE and tell me that I can get anything I want, like, I used to get, and more. But if that was what I wanted, I would be back there living a miserable life, like that last year I lived. Money is nice, but it can't buy happiness.. No way, no how. I live a humble life now and truly know that happiness isn't all about money. I have diginity and will raise my kids this way too.

A man came to the Prophet and said, "O Allah's Apostle! Who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man said. "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man further said, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man asked for the fourth time, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your father."
Sahih Bukhari, Volume 8, Book 73, Number 2

‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr narrated that a woman came to the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam and said: O Messenger of Allah, my womb was a vessel for this son of mine, and my breasts gave him to drink, and my lap was a refuge for him, but his father has divorced me and he wants to take him away from me. The Messenger of Allah sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam said to her: “You have more right to him so long as you do not remarry.” [Ahmad & Abu Dawood; classed as hasan by al-Albaani]

I will not let my sons father raise him intolerant to non-Muslims or to Americans. That's just what he wants to do. Raise him to hate America and to hate non-Muslims. This is not Islam. We have enough hate in the world. My kids will never be raised this way by me.

bottom line is... When you marry a man of a different culture, it's very hard and I now know to stick to my fellow Americans. :) So, think long and hard about marrying someone of a different culture. Be it, French, German or Indian. Not just Arabs

BTW: look out for my book... :) coming soon.

final whisper: thanks to all my friends (sisters in Islam) and family & childhood friends for being right beside me in this time in my life. I love y'all. Ameen to all the prayers.

Another random dose of the Muslim Texan..

2011-05-26T20:06:00.001-05:00

mood: thrilled ❤ ❤ ❤
craving: chocolate ice-cream and a walk on the river walk

The weekend is near and it can't come any faster. My daughter will spend Memorial Day weekend with her father so it's just Azooz and I. We do have a busy weekend, I'm excited. One of my close friends is leaving back to Saudi Arabia in nine more days. So, this weekend will be a must to spend some time with her and other sisters. There's a henna party on Friday, so Azooz and I will be attending. On Saturday one of my friends is coming down to Texas to visit me. ❤ Saturday through Monday will be busy. I have my weekend planned out. Inshallah (God's willing) we will have a nice Memorial Day weekend. I'll miss my daughter; when she's gone it's not the same.

In other news: my dad is doing good. I'm cooking healthy food for all of us and it's really paying off. He has lost a lot of weight and feels really good. I don't buy processed food anymore and bake everything. Healthy feels good. ♡
I'm listening to some, 'Smooth Jazz' now and relaxing with one of my closest friends. She came for dinner and now she's reading a book and I'm finishing off this entry. It's nice to have the kind of friend you don't have to entertain. Y'all are like sisters and if your quiet for 2 hours you don't feel akward. That's the type of friends I have.

The house smells like I baked a rich vanilla cake. Thanks Bath & Body works. Their oils are amazing. Azooz is playing on the trampoline outside with his sister. It's getting really hot here in Texas. I feel like drinking an Iced Espresso. That sounds good. ✿

Mosha- our cat- is keeping us entertained. She's interested in trying to get at our beta fish, Mo. Kinda keeping a eye on her so Mo isn't her dinner.

Azooz came in the house the other day and said, 'Mama, this is for you." Aww, he's so precious. He handed me a leaf. Kids sure do grow up fast and he's doing just that. I wish I could hold him in my arms forever. I think that's every mom's dream. Amber got me some beautiful pink roses the other day. When she gave them to me, I saw the look in her eyes. She just hugged me and told me, she loves me and I'm the best mother ever. My kids are my life and my life revolves around them. I wouldn't have it any other way. I couldn't imagine living a day without the two of them.

Mashallah, my little boy. Abdul Aziz عبد العزيز‎

Hmm, what else. Well, as y'all can see, my life is going on still. Just taking life as it comes. Believe it or not, it's getting so much better than I ever thought. I'm finally adjusting to my America. Well, that's about it. I've run out of things to say. Have a nice Memorial Day weekend everyone. And to my friends in the Middle east: have a great rest of the weekend, since y'alls weekend started today.

final whisper: Yeah, I'm smiling ♥. But, you're not the reason anymore.

Sunday, dear Sunday...

2011-05-22T21:51:00.000-05:00

mood: relaxed
craving: somewhere, where it's snowing now...

salam alykom to my dear Muslim brothers and sisters and a BIG hola to all my brothers and sisters in humanity. This weekend was a nice relaxing weekend with my kids and one of my best friends. It's almost coming to a end. We just lounged around today. I read a some Quran. Very relaxing. So, tell me what y'all have done this weekend. Next weekend is gonna be a long one, Memorial Day and all. Other than that, just busy. A lot to do here in Texas. :) Have a great week, everyone! and don't forget to smile. :)

So, on to my entry. Very short and very random. I hope it makes y'all smile.

Give me odorous at sunrise a garden of beautiful flowers where I can walk undisturbed.

~Walt Whitman

''A perfume is like a piece of clothing, a message, a way of

presenting oneself ... a costume ... that differs according to

the woman who wears it''.

I think we dream so we don't have to be away from one another. If we're in each other's dreams, we'll always be together.
~ Hobbes

"Happiness is the secret to all beauty. There is no beauty

without happiness."

— Christian Dior

Back in America, so coffee it is ...

~Texan, after UAE

The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.
Saint Augustine

This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.
-- Author Unknown

You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy.
-- Author Unknown

"Kindness is like snow - it beautifies everything it covers"

final whisper: In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities.

It feels so right...

2011-05-15T17:07:00.006-05:00

mood: Satisfied

craving: somewhere over the rainbow

salam alykom and hola to all my followers out there. The kids and I had a very nice weekend and I owe it all to one of my childhood best friends. I hope everyone had a great weekend. :)

I’ve learned that things change, people change, but that doesn’t mean you can forget about the past or try to cover it up. It simply means that you need to move on, and treasure the memories. Letting go, doesn’t mean giving up. It means that you’re finally accepting that some things weren’t meant to be..so just let it go...

final whisper: Love ya Renee foreva & eva.. xoxoxoxoxox's

All good things come to those who wait...

2011-05-13T14:53:00.000-05:00

mood: content

craving: a relaxing weekend

For truly with hardship comes ease; truly with hardship comes ease.

( Quran; Surat al-Inshirah: 5-6)

.........and finally I feel alive. ♥

final whisper: patience is a virtue...Patience is the companion of wisdom..Patience and fortitude conquer all things..

My eyes are opening little by little.

2011-05-10T16:07:00.002-05:00

mood: reflective

craving: a PARTY!

salam alykom and hola my dolls. :) I hope that everyone is having a productive week and if you're not, be positive and i promise when you start to think positive, you're gonna feel so much better. on to my entry. :) :) :)

Good night to all my friends over seas and to all my friends/family and followers here in the states, have a great day. Keep smiling, happy looks good on you.

When you step outside a society for almost ten years and try to make it familiar again, it's hard. The States have changed in the last ten years and people who were once very close to you, have too. Nothing ever stays the same. To soften the blow and to keep the USA close to my heart, I've had to do a lot of soul searching in these last ten months. The first time we went out after our second to the last payer of the night the streets here in Texas were bare and empty. That to me was a sense of loss. I wanted to shop until midnight in the crowded markets and bargain with the vendors, drop by my in law's home at an ungodly hour that people in the states would gasp at. I couldn't do that here; people are sleeping by 10:30 pm and as I always called the Arabs vampires (in a loving affectionate way) they love to stay up late at night , chat and drink their chai. I got accustomed to that life.. I fell in love with it. But, alas it's done and over with and that will never be my life again.

My life is here in Texas and that's where I'll stay. I've made peace. So, from the day I made peace with being here in the states, I've felt a lot better. I hope it keeps getting better. Someday, I'll go back to my son's birth place, his country. When that day will come? God only knows. But, for now: Please welcome me back, Texas. Why didn't I miss you when I was abroad? I'm finally opening my mind, heart and eyes. I think that's what I had to do from the beginning, but when your heart has been torn apart, and stepped on it's kinda hard to think straight. It's almost been a year since I've been away from UAE, a hard year. A hard year indeed. But, it didn't kill me, therefore it's made me a stronger person. And it's really humbled me and made me a better person.

I wanted to thank a very special person in my life. She's been there from the beginning of my transition here in the states. If it wasn't for her, I don't know where I would be. She's loving and caring and just that special person you can go and pour all your feelings out to and she will never judge you. Isn't it great to have a friend like that? I'm truly blessed. God put her in my life for a reason and that reason was to get me back on track. I'm there and it feels great. Blanca, thank you. You will truly never know how grateful to Allah I am for Him bringing you in my life. May God always give you good in this life and the hear after ameen *kisses and hugs*

final whisper: always look beyond what you see

Missed y'all... :) :) :)... Random post about different things.

2011-05-08T16:39:00.000-05:00

mood: happy

craving: Colorado

First off, Salam Alykom to my new friends and followers!! I adore you already. Make yourself at home. Comment and say hi to let me know you've been here! I promise I don't bite.. :) I might just bore y'all with little things in my life. But, keep a open mind and know that my intentions are good. I want to make y'all laugh and think about life. Now, hurry up and get your favorite drink and snack and read a long. Come follow me through my happy days and my hardships. God's willing, more happy days than hardships.

Well, it's been a while since I've made my last entry. I keep getting emails from readers asking me when I'm going to make the next entry. Well, I've been very busy and hardly on the net these days. Life just makes me busy. Being a single parent isn't easy and I have to give more attention to my kids.. :) Alhamdulilah (thank you God). Today is Mother's day, as Muslims we don't celebrate this day, because every day is Mother's day for us.

Narrated Abu Huraira:

A man came to Allah’s Apostle and said, “O Allah’s Apostle! Who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?” The Prophet (pbuh) said, “Your mother.” The man said. “Who is next?” The Prophet said, “Your mother.” The man further said, “Who is next?” The Prophet said, “Your mother.” The man asked for the fourth time, “Who is next?” The Prophet said, “Your father. ”
(Bukhari, Volume 8, Book 73, Number 2)

So, everyday we celebrate Mother's day, not just one day out of the year. Mothers are important everyday. But, to all my non-muslim readers, Happy Mom's day to y'all and happy mom's day to your moms and grandmoms. :) So, that's the end to this subject. Let's talk about something else.. I feel like being random today. :) :) :)

I'm sure the way I feel these past months is the fact that I'm on my own with my two kids. Or maybe now im finding out what it's really like to be independent and not depend on anyone but myself. If you've heard that song Landslide by Stevie Nicks, it tells my story perfectly.

Well I’ve been afraid of changing ‘cause I
Built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older, I’m getting older to

I've come to find out who my 'true' friends are. I found that out fast. My two best friends are still in touch with me and have given me every excuse is to why I'm busy with my life here in Texas. I do have new friends here and have a lot of support from them. But, that doesn't mean I don't think of and miss my besties there in UAE. It feels good to know that people don't turn the other cheek when you need them.

I'm also so thank full that God put Om Abdullah and Twizzle in my life. They have been there for me. Maybe we don't talk as much as we used to when I lived there in UAE, but none the less, they are there for me to talk to me and support me. All I have to do is pick the phone up and call and they will never question me for not keeping in touch as often. This is what a friendship consists of. Making excuses for each other and trying to put yourself in their shoes. I miss them and I know they miss me.

I just need to relax, and breathe. I just need to always think about that verse in our holy Quran.

For truly with hardship comes ease; truly with hardship comes ease. (Surat al-
Inshirah: 5-6)

It's coming and I can feel it. I always say, alhamdullah (thank you God) for everything you have put in my life. There's a reason why I'm here now, and not in UAE. So, let me just relax and always have faith in God. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Optimism always helps; I'm actually happy with my life here. I'm very humbled and very thankful to Allah. Wow, this post is all over the place. Just writing down my feelings and listening to My Best Friend's Wedding on the TV in the back ground.. LOL

The moment I wake up
Before I put on my makeup
I say a little pray for you
While combing my hair now,
And wondering what dress to wear now,
I say a little prayer for you

Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart
and I will love you
Forever, and ever, we never will part
Oh, how I love you
Together, forever, that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only mean heartbreak for me.

That's what they're singing now. It goes perfect with my mood.

Hmmm what to talk about now... I've been typing this entry for hours (got busy with kids) and coming back and forth putting my 2 cents here and there. Taking phone calls from close friends and laughing with my kids, makes a perfect day. I'm sure later on one of my closest friends will come on by, as she does almost every day. I always await our conversations. It makes my days and nights a lot better.

So, here's to friendship and mothers. May God always bring good in my life and let me smile everyday and laugh everyday and most of all, think of Allah every day ameen

.

final whisper: even if you think I don't care for you, I still do and always will. I miss those nights singing with you on the phone and just acting silly. I miss you and love you still.

Thank YOU.., gracias , shukran

2011-04-23T15:06:00.001-05:00

mood: :)

craving: a nice evening with my kids and my friends...

Salam alykom and Hola to all my followers and readers.. :) :) :) The long weekend has been good to me and my kids. Last night we had a great time with some of my closest friends. Today we are all invited to a dinner. I hope everyone has a GREAT holiday weekend. For my Christian readers, have a Happy Easter. Now, on to my entry. Ta Ta for now...

There are no words to describe my gratitude and love for you. Gratitude because you have been there for me in one of the 3 lowest moments in my life. The first lowest moment in my life was loosing my mother, and that was a hard road to follow. My second was loosing my son, Mubarak. I was in Europe at the time, and thank God I had a great husband who nurtured me back to life. My third... well, it was losing the love of my life to a dreadful 7 lettered word: divorce. And you, my father, have been here for me during the last dark moment in my life. When the clouds were the darkest, your humor and shyness with your twinge of charm brought out my smile. Without you, where would I be?

When I came back to Texas after being gone almost ten years, I didn't know I was going to stay here. Am I going to make it my home again? God only knows. But you have made it so much easier than it would of been if I didn't have a father like you. You have given me and your grandchildren unconditional love and support. You're unique and you are well loved by everyone who has had the privilege of you being in your life. Love, well, really there are no words to describe my love for you. Not even if I lived on this earth for a million years, it would never be enough to show or tell you the love I have for you.

I've learned a lot since being gone. I've learned that love doesn't come first in someone's life. Love is a word that us humans feel when we want to feel safe. With love should come respect and it should work in this order..

respect

love

Without respect there can never be love. And those two things, my dear father, I have always had for you. So, thank you. Thank you for being all that you can and more.

I ask God to always protect you and to give you what's good in this life and the next...

final whisper: You are my hero

As much as I try...

2011-04-20T22:29:00.000-05:00

mood: just..

craving: UAE

I woke up today wishing I was back in the UAE. I can't believe that I'm still not over the culture shock of being back in the States. Still not used to my own rich Hispanic culture. Why? I think I'm mourning the culture I love and lived with, my son's roots, the man that I used to love, the family that I got used to, the family that loved me, the family that took me in and loved my daughter and I. I know they say, "Bring the culture to your home if you love it so much and keep it with you forever." You know, its not the same.

I can serve my family some chai haleeb (tea with milk) and make my mother in law's famous biryani with chicken and desserts and try to mimic everything back in UAE, the things I learned. But, it's not the same. I hear no Arabic language around my home, no children laughing and screaming around my home and most of all, I hear no call to prayer when it's time to pray. I miss it...I miss listening to my mother in law talk to my son in Arabic.. Miss seeing her hug and kiss him. I really miss it. The call to prayer on my laptop isn't enough. To see my son play alone on his bike and with his toys, breaks my heart. Am I such a bad mom, to keep him away from the family who loves him, and who prays that he's in their site everyday? My son sometimes asks about them and when he sees the picture of his grandfather, he smiles and says, "I miss him. I miss jeddo, Mama." But, on the other hand, my father loves him just as much. At times I wonder if my father would die from heart break if I left back to UAE. When I say die from heart break, I'm not exaggerating. The look in my father;s eyes when my son hugs him is enough to grab a tissue and wait for your tears to fall. So, I'm torn between two worlds. A world that I once was comfortable in and world I once knew- the world was where I grew up and made memories with family and friends. The other world is a world I long for. A place that my heart will continue to long for.

Everywhere I look, everywhere I stop and try to smell the air here in TEXAS, I stop and start to think about the air in Abu Dhabi.

I long for my best friends, and our get togethers, our million and one calls during the day. Remember, none of us girls worked and we had time for each other? I miss meeting Tico in Dubai mall and going out to lunch with her while Abu Azooz watched a movie and left us girls alone to shop. I long for spending hours on end with them and knowing if I was in a bad situation, they would understand me and be right there beside me to comfort me. When I miss my father/siblings, they would be the first to understand me longing to see my family, because they long for the same. All of us girls went to the Middle East as foreigners. I came back to my country only to feel like a foreigner. Go figure.... *sigh*

final whisper: Dad, if it wasn't for you being here in Texas, I wouldn't be here.

Where is the good in goodbye?

2011-04-19T22:36:00.001-05:00

mood:missing someone special

craving: lol

Salam Alykom my dolls.. Alllloooo (Arabic accent) to all my sweet followers out there... <3
Today was a productive day, I got a lot done. With a three year old, sometimes its kinda hectic, but I survived. YAY, me.. On to my entry.. The household is sleeping and I have some, 'me' time now. *sigh*

"Don't be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetime, is certain for those who are friends."

All you non-Arab readers out there are probably wondering,"What's that writing on Texan's kitchen chalk board?" Well, let me tell y'all what it is.. It's the sweetest, most lovely message from one of the nicest friends ever. It says, "I love you, Kristina." Let me tell you a little about my sister in Islam. She's really spunky and really vivacious and she turns any head when she walks in the room. I loved her from the first 'Salam' and kiss on the cheeks. I love her so much, because she reminds myself of me when I was her age. She'll be leaving back to her country Saudi Arabia soon. But, I just wanna let her know, what she means to me. And what better place to type my feelings down than my blog. I wrote this a while back and was going to read it to her the last get together we will have. I'm such a cry baby when it comes to friends/sisters leaving. I guess I can break the ice here and I'll have another speacial gift for her before she leaves. Here is what I wrote for her....

How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.

You and I are so much a like, it intrigues me.

But, I knew when you opened your mouth to talk to me and I heard your words and how they made me laugh, that you were compassionate, caring and loving.
When you smiled, it took me to another place; a place where people and lions got along, a place where hearts and balloons were the sky,
A place where humans never hurt.
You are everyone's sunshine and you are my family's sun. You are clearly unique...a diamond.
Always know you are loved by us. Texas will always be a place for you and your family to come and enjoy, and your son's birthplace, his home. :)
I will miss you, my friend/sister.
Distance shouldn't keep us away from each other.
Someday every dream of yours will come true and we will be together again. If not in this life, then in Jannah. (heaven)

all my love to you, nonna... <3

- Texan, after UAE

final whisper: Why does it take a minute to say hello and forever to say goodbye?

The letter.....

2011-04-19T03:04:00.003-05:00

mood: ok

craving: that special place...

Salam Alykom to all my sisters and brothers and Hola to all my sisters and brothers in humanity. I hope y'all had a nice start to y'alls week. I've been soooo busy lately and I haven't gotten anytime to come and write. Now, on to my entry.... :) :) :)

To all it may concern,

To those who hated me, thank you,
you made me the strong person I am today.

To those who loved me unconditionally, thank you,
you make my heart bigger.

To those who envied me, thank you,
you have helped my self esteem grow.

To those who cared, thank you,
you make me feel important and treasured.

To those who worried, thank you,
you let me know that you care and that I matter.

To those who left, thank you,
you showed me that not everything is forever.

To those who stayed, thank you,
you show me the meaning of true friends.

To those all of you that have entered my life, thank you,
you have made me who I am today and for that, I am thankful.

Love, Texan, after UAE

final whisper: I should post more often, since I miss me here most..........

Stay..

2011-04-02T19:41:00.003-05:00

mood: fuzzy
craving: outdoor picnic, under the stars

Salam Alykom my sisters and brothers and Hello to all my sisters and brothers in humanity. :) I hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend. My weekend is nice, just enjoying spending time with my kids.

This entry is just very random...

No matter who comes into my life, I will always 'silently' smile when I think about you. I will always silently 'laugh' when I think about YOU. I will always 'silently' cry, when I know we couldn't live our life together...

-Texan, after UAE

final whisper: If its meant to happen.. it will happen.. Alhamdulilah.

One God!

2011-03-31T22:37:00.000-05:00

mood: mellow
craving: mecca

salam alikom wa rahmatollahi wa barakato and Hola to all my followers and readers. I hope everyone had a GREAT week. :)

This picture says it all. My little boy, Abdul Aziz. Mashallah...

لا إله إلا الله محمد رسول الله (lā ʾilāha ʾillallāh, Muḥammad rasūlu-llāh) (in Arabic)

There is no god but God, and Muhammad is the messenger of God. (in English)

The Shahadah is the Muslim declaration of belief in the oneness of God (tawhid) and acceptance of Muhammad as God's prophet.

final whisper: He is the One GOD; there is no other god beside Him.The King, the Most Sacred, the Peace,the Most Faithful, the Supreme, the Almighty,the Most Powerful, the Most Dignified.GOD be glorified; far above having partners

(Qur'an 59:23)

Always be who you are....

2011-03-27T12:33:00.002-05:00

mood: satisfied
craving: hanging out with YOU.

Red Velvet cheesecake at the cheese cake factory

I walked in that place, looked at your face and instantly knew that you were going to be a special person in my life. Your smile lit up the room like no other. Your laugh...well, it's contagious and cute. Your speech... hmm, well, it's different. Your sense of humor is like mine. You are the light in me and my kids life and I wouldn't have it any other way. Keep being that friend/sister I was searching for. Just stay who you are. We love you, Rawan.

final whisper: You're an Amazing woman. Thanks for last night.. We had such a GREAT time.

Why is Friday so special to us Muslims?

2011-03-25T13:15:00.001-05:00

mood: excited for tomorrow :) :) :) :) :)

craving: shopping with my kids...

I pray that everyone had a GREAT Friday. Our weekend has started. :) :) :)

The above picture is in Mecca (Saudi Arabia) showing millions of Muslims praying to God. Amazing.

This is one of my FAVORITE days of the week in our household, and it's a favorite of another 1.4 - 1.6 billion Muslims around the world.

What is Jummah? Al-Jummah, in Arabic, means "The day of gathering" because the body of Adam (Peace be upon Him) was gathered (created) on this day.

I always clean really good on Fridays. I burn OUD and Bukhoor (above picture). It's a great incense. There's nothing like it. The smell radiates through our home and it's lovely. When I'm done, I usually sit in my favorite chair and read the Quran (holy book). After that I pray our noon prayer which is called Dhuhr. It's the best day of the week for us.

Of all the days of the week, the day of Jummah was chosen by Allah (God) to be the greatest and the most special for Muslims.

The Prophet salalahu alayhi wasalam said:
"There is an hour during it (i.e.Jumu'ah) that no Muslim servant catches while he is standing and praying, asking Allah for something, except Allah will give it to him."
Then the Prophet salalahu alayhi wasalam made a gesture with his hand to indicate how short that time is. (Bukhari and Muslim)

"O you who believe! When the call for Prayer is made on al -Jummah. hasten to the remembrance of God, and leave trading aside. That is better for you, if only you knew." (62:9)

God guided all Muslims to hold their gatherings on Jummah before and after the Hijrah. Just wanted to give y'all a little definition of what Jummah is. (To all my non-Muslim readers)

That my friends, is our beautiful Friday. Always spent with our loved ones.

Jummah Mubarak! to all.

final whisper: Let's not forget Suratul-Kahf....

My baby boy is three years old.. :) :) :)

2011-03-23T22:13:00.004-05:00

mood: :):):)

craving: watching my little boy blow out his candles

To Abu Abdul Aziz. Azooz talks about you all the time, and he loves you and misses you.

Salam Alykom and Hola to all my followers and readers. I hope y'alls week is going smoothly, I'm exhausted and I need a holiday. :) This weekend will be busy for us. We will go spend the weekend with some of my close friends, take the kids to the parks and have a nice barbaque. I really can't wait. Now, on to my entry.

my best friend, Om Aboodie, made this for azooz when he was born. mashallah. :) Our little boys are 8 days apart. mashallah.

I was taking pictures of my kids today and realized, Amber is so much older than Azooz. Fourteen years and one day apart. Azooz loves his big sister so much and vice versa. It's cute for him to hang on to her. Before Azooz was born, Amber had me all to herself and she always wanted a sibling. I'm happy that her wish came true.

The day you came into our lives, was the day that the sun shined forever for me..

My dad got them a nice cake today and both of them blew out the candles. It was sweet. Azooz was even singing Happy birthday to Amber when she got home from school. I think that was the highlight of Amber's day. Her smile said it all.

Guess who wanted the first piece? Yep, you guessed right, Azooooooz..

My son is hell on wheels and I can chase him all day long and he won't give up being the naughty little boy he is.. I swear it's in the DNA of the Arabs. Mashallah.

Azooz: Mama, I love you too.

Me: I didn't say I love you.

Azooz: But, I did!!!!!!

Me: I love you more.

Azooz: No, me!

End of convo!

He is such a character and we love every ounce of that kid. He brings smiles to everyone who sees his little face. His attitude is contagious and it's lovable and unforgettable.

May Allah bestow many blessings upon you, my son and give you only good in this life and bless you with happiness, love and wealth and health, may he always protect you from harm and accept all your prayers ameen

final whisper: Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday Azooz, happy birthday to you. I love YOU, more than you will ever know.

17 yrs went so fast...

2011-03-22T23:13:00.008-05:00

mood: MELODRAMATIC

craving: to hold my little girl forever...

Salam Alykom and Alooo (Arabic accents) to all my followers and readers. I hope everyone had a productive day today. For those of you in Europe and the middle east, have a GREAT day. On to my entry. <3 In a couple of hours my baby girl will be seventeen years old. : / Wow, how time flies. Today I was driving her to the dentist, she showed me this song by Taylor Swift and I almost started bawling my eyes out. I grabbed her little hand and we looked at each other, her eyes glistened as she said, I love you mom. Those words always melt my heart.

To the world, you may be one person. But to me, you are the world.

I can remember when I was seventeen years old, I already started my life and was alll grown up. Times have changed. My baby is still at home and I don't want her to leave. I joke with her and tell her, her brother and I will follow her to the university. We are so close and I never want that bond to break. Inshallah, never. So, here's a big, big seventeen birthday prayer for you, baby girl.

May Allah bestow many blessings upon you, my daughter and give you only good in this life and bless you with happiness, love and wealth and health, may he always protect you from harm and accept all your prayers ameen

Abu Azooz, if you are reading, you were a part of raising Amber. She's who she is because you loved her and cared and taught her how to love and respect others. She's not the typical, American girl, she's different. I thank you for that. As she said in her last email to you, and i will quote it.

Dear Abouy,

Thank you, though: for being kind to us, for giving us all we wanted and more, for providing for our needs, for making us laugh and smile, for teaching me how to be who I am. I thank you for teaching me how to respect myself and others. I thank you for helping me grow into someone who can't be compared to kids my age here in the US.

I loved you even though I didn't show it.
I call you by your name when you pop up in conversation. But you will always be my Abouy. To bad you changed so much, to the worse. I never thought you would do what you did to my mom. This proves that life doesn't stay the same, it changes. But, you couldn't expect us to stay with you. My little brother is better off with my mom and I. I would never want him to be raised by you. You are a different person. Not the abouy I once knew. :'( You broke not only mom's heart, but mine too.
:'(

final whisper: Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Amber, happy birthday to you. I love YOU... You will always be my baby..

Making a difference in someone's life...

2011-03-21T14:49:00.007-05:00

mood: really, really happy =))))))
craving: summer

Salam Alykom and Hello to all my readers and followers. I hope everyone had a awesome Monday. So far mine has been good. Thanks to God. I pray this entry helps, just at least one person. =)

Life:

1. Do the right thing!
2. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
3. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
4. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
5. The best is yet to come.
6. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy

I always wanna think I've made a difference in someone Else's life, even if it's doing the smallest thing for someone. Cooking, saying something nice or simply listening when someone just has to vent. So, I've been thinking. Sometimes we don't realize how we've touched someone else s life, because the smallest things we do, make such a big impact on some else s daily routine. Try it. Make a difference. ♥

“There are times when it is hard to believe in the future, when we are temporarily just not brave enough. When this happens, concentrate on the present. Cultivate le petit bonheur (the little happiness) until courage returns. Look forward to the beauty of the next moment, the next hour, the promise of a good meal, sleep, a book, a movie, the likelihood that tonight the stars will shine and tomorrow the sun will shine. Sink roots into the present until the strength grows to think about tomorrow.”

Ardis Whitman

Trying to find simpler version of life with less hatred more love, more feelings with no grudge, more people with positive touch, nothing to lose, every gain become the best, I wish to live by my limitation, to live without division, to dream without any season, to smile without any reason, to think without any decision, to believe without any condition, to help without any expectation

final whisper: sometimes those pessimistic & depressed people, need US.

PHOTOMANIA....

2011-03-20T13:42:00.002-05:00

mood: excited

craving: to see my daughter and hug and kiss her.

Salam Alykom and hola to all my followers and readers out there.. My weekend as been busy and last night t I was supposed to go with my friends to eat, but I didn't feel like chasing my son everywhere.. LOL Where I go, he goes. So, we ended up having a quiet evening at home. :) :) :) My daughter will be back today, I can't wait, she's coming back from New Jersey I really miss her.. : / Azooz misses her a lot, too. On to my random PHOTOMANIA post... I hope y'all have a FAB Sunday...<3

Enjoy the different pictures I've taken. :)

Emma, I'll never forget YOU. <3 <3 <3

UAE, I heart YOU.

All those years in Germany.... I can still smell the memories...

I had a great time with you girls. I'll never forget this night.... Good times..........

Breakfast time.. Thanks for all the great memories.. They'll always be in graved in my mind and heart....

Blanca, I always enjoy my time with you. Let's do this again, soon.. <3

Cheesecake night.... I won't forget... Will y'all? LOL

My dear best-friend. I love you, Om Abooodie.... I miss you...

I <3 you too, Nonnna....

Salwa (Rawan) <3 What more can I say? :)

Three musketeers & brothers... Dad in the middle... <3

My dear son, you're a gem.. Thanks for the most beautiful flower.. I'll cherish it forever... <3

Chai haleb anyone? MmmmmMM


**Om Aboodie, our times together are always gonna be with me.. Don't think I can forget our Escapades. =)**

A beautiful mess...

each one was made with pure love...

never gonna forget that night....

Aisha, she still listens to her world on your gift...

final whisper: all those days you've been gone, your little brother and I slept in your bed. I've missed you so darn much and I can't wait to hug and kiss you... <3 <3 <3

Thought for Thursday..

2011-03-17T16:58:00.000-05:00

mood: Satisfied

craving: Pampering all over

final whisper: I am happy & there is nothing you can do about it =)

If you really knew me, you would know....

2011-03-14T22:40:00.001-05:00

mood: overwhelmed

craving: to get this week over with

Salam Alykom to all my Muslim sisters and brothers out there. Hola to all my non-Muslim readers. I pray everyone had a great start to the week. I had a very busy weekend. Spent Friday at the park with friends and on Saturday I took my son to a birthday party. That evening I had some friends over and cooked for them. Sunday, a couple of my friends came to visit me and one was from UAE, I haven't seen her in a long time. I cooked of course. No one goes away from my house hungry. So, yeah, my weekend was very busy.

I'm gonna have a very busy week. My dad is having heart surgery. I would appreciate prayers, please. My daughter is leaving to New Jersey to visit my big sister for her spring break holiday. God, I'm gonna be lonely, just my son and I. I just want this week to end. So, I've just been making a lot of dua (prayers) and put everything in God's hands. All will be good. Alhamdulilah for everything. (thank God for everything). So, on to my entry.

I found this idea off this lovely girls blog and I thought to myself that it seemed like a really great idea for a post.

If you really knew me, you would know...

- My mom died of breast cancer when I was really young.

- I love 70's and 80's music. ( I think because I have two older sisters) LOL

- my childhood best friends were, Jessica, Margie and Carrie and Sabrina and I'm still in touch with them.

- My goal in life is to make a difference in others lives. I absolutely love hearing that I have changed someone, that I have helped them in any way...

- -I'm a little shy at first, but once I feel comfortable, I am really outgoing and very social.

- When my mom died, the only person that helped me get through our loss was my sister, Mona and one of my best friends, Veronica. Thanks for always being there for me girls.

- I love animals

- I hate ignorant and racist people.

- I hate television.

- if I really knew you, what would I know? <3

final whisper: I will miss you A LOT.....

The BEST news ever!

2011-03-11T16:43:00.003-06:00

mood: Happy

craving: spending the weekend with my family and friends.... <3

First of all I wanna give a very, very, very BIG Salam Alykom to my little sister and my little brother. Why might y'all ask? Well, since I've been back from UAE they've asked a lot questions about my religion. Yesterday, I picked them up from school, along with my daughter, and my little brother just started asking a lot of questions, more than usual. I answered and he was so fascinated at some of the answers. I showed him and my little sister some youtube videos on Islam and he said," I want to become Muslim and I do believe." My little sister said the same. She said, I believe that there is one God and Jesus is not the son of God, nor God. They said, they believe Muhammad is the last prophet to all mankind. My dad is starting to ask, too. So, yes, they both took their testimony of faith last night. The Shahada.. :) :) :) I'm on cloud 9... Wouldn't you be?
These are the words my siblings said.

La ilaha il Allah, Muhammad-ur-Rasool-Allah

(None has the right to be worshipped but Allah, and Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah)

how to become a Muslim

I just remembered, when my little brother was little, we used to take him with us to the Masjid (mosque) and he used to say, Kristie, I wanna be called, Muhammad. :) :) :) I'm giggling about it now. What a great name. ;) So, his wish came true. Nine years later and he'll be 15yrs old in a couple of months. :)

So, welcome to Islam, little sister and bro... All your past sins have been forgotten.. Alhamdulilah (Thank you God)

In other news, the weekend has started and it's a start to a great weekend. My friends and I will get together tonight, I'm thinking of cooking for them. :) Hoping my little sister, Georgette comes in from another state. I wanna have a small celebration for my my little sis and bro, and would be nice if she could be here , too. :) Since we don't mix, (men and women) my little brother will hang out with some of my friends son's who are also Muslim. The girls will all hang out here at my home. :)

Hmmm, I guess that's it for today. I pray all y'all have a GREAT weekend. :)

I ask Allah to make this journey easy for my siblings and to give them what's best in this life and the hear after ameen

final whisper: If you believe there is ONE God and that prophet Muhammad is the final and last prophet, don't delay..

Dear Mr. Jim Glass.. :)

2011-03-05T17:03:00.001-06:00

mood: Staaaaarving now!
craving: FOOD lol & cheesecake.. =p

Salam Alykom my brothers and sisters. Hola to all my non-muslim readers out there. I hope everyone is having a FAB Sat. :)
I received a private message from an anonymity named Jim Glass. Mr. Glass had a few questions regarding Islam. I will try my best to answser your questions. :)

"I wish you would tell me why you are Muslim... Have you studied Christianity?"
First of all- I know it's been repeated many, many times- but how many really know the meaning of Muslim? If you look it up in the dictionary, you'll find that Muslim actually means submission to one God. Islam was the last monotheistic religion to be revealed by God to Mohammad, after Judaism and Christianity (those religions revealed to other great Prophets, Moses and Jesus).

Mr. Glass, I'll tell you why I'm Muslim. As a young girl, sitting in the pews of a Catholic church, I often looked at the priest standing in front of us all, telling us that Jesus (this great, great man) died for our sins. He died to save mankind. Jesus was God's son. I switched my gaze to Jesus hanging from the cross above the priest's head- his head sunken, wreathed in a crown of thorns, nails through his hands and feet with a cloth barely covering his private parts. If Jesus was God's son, I wondered, why would God allow him to die? Wouldn't fathers do anything to save their sons from dying? So why did God sacrifice His son so easily to the Romans?
Wait... the priest said that "We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ, the only Son of God.". Did that mean that Jesus was God, too? How can God (who is Jesus) sacrifice His son (who is Jesus); is that considered self-sacrificial? Suicide? And before Jesus who did Moses pray to? Jesus wasn't alive, so the only answer is God.

I confused myself with these kind of questions for as long as I could remember. I tried to read the Bible and it didn't register like it should have. What was wrong with me? I began to search for a little bit of truth. I read on Judaism, Christianity and finally, Islam. Islam, it seemed, clicked. Everything made sense. It wasn't like Catholicism, forever twisting words into something that didn't make sense, forever changing the words in the Bible. Islam was an easy path to follow: God was the All Mighty, the Magnificent, the Merciful. He was One. No partners, no sons. He revealed religion to great men, who believed in ONE GOD. Mohammad was chosen to spread Islam, to be the last Prophet. A kind of last chance for us to be at home with a comfortable mindset, with no twisting questions. God equaled One, not two.
I found myself at ease with that thought. And so I started to believe in Islam, a religion that finally made sense to me.

"Do you approve of the 911 attack that killed 3000 some of whom were from the Muslim faith?"
I remember 9/11 clearly. I watched replays on the news of how the plane crashed into the Twin Towers, devastating our nation. Like any other human being, I was terrified. What kind of maniacs would do such a thing? I obviously didn't approve, nor did any other Muslim with common sense. Ever since then, the US has gotten the impression that all Muslims are terrorists. No, that isn't the case. They're called EXTREMISTS. They're found in every religion. Judaism has the Zionists. Christianity has the Ku Klux Klan. Islam could surely have a group of extremists too, right? It's isn't unheard of. But why were Muslims being grouped together like this? All Arabs, Muslims... considered terrorists! Of course, because of this American tragedy, all Arabs, were from then on, stereotyped.

"What do you mean about "saving" the world? Killing all the infidels?"
There's a verse in the Quran that states that killing one person, is like killing all of mankind. In Islam, homicide is prohibited.

"...if any one slew a person - unless it be for murder or for spreading mischief in the land - it would be as if he slew the whole people: and if any one saved a life, it would be as if he saved the life of the whole people.." 5:32

Every human being has the right to live. So it is for all religions, because they have given us rights.
Again, the Muslims who claim they're going to "save" the world are extremists. No one can save the world, except by God's Will.

"Also, as a woman do you not feel bad about how Islamic men treat you?"
The media portrays Muslim women as oppressed, insignificant beings compared to Muslim men. They feed us the idea that the men make them cover, that they beat them every day and that they're not allowed out of the house. Fortunately, that isn't the case.

When the Quran was revealed to Mohammad 1400 years ago, Muslim women got their rights along with a religion to follow. If you follow Islam, just like if you follow Christianity or Judaism, you will always follow the laws of God. Those laws are: to treat women with respect and love. Islam gave me just that. Here's a quote from a Christian lady.

We Western women have been brainwashed into thinking that you Muslim women are oppressed. But truly, we are the ones who are oppressed; slaves to fashions that degrade us, obsessed with our weight, begging for love from men who do not want to grow up. Deep down inside, we know that we have been cheated.

-Samantha Carter

God says in the Quran: ‘O mankind, We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another (not that you may despise each other). Verily, the most honored of you in the sight of God is the one who is most righteous” (Quran 49:13).

Mr. Glass and all others out there that have questions, I hope I answered your questions. I pray that you doubt Islam no more. It takes someone special to come and ask questions, I think it's the beginning of your journey. There is no compulsion in Islam. We are here on earth for only one purpose and that purpose is to be slaves for God. Ask Him for forgiveness.

final whisper: So you see, as a Muslim woman, I’ve been liberated from a silent kind of bondage. I don’t answer to the slaves of God on earth. I answer to their king.
-by Yasmin Mogahed

A letter to the culture that raised me. :) GREAT READ. :)

A big thanks to my beautiful daughter for brainstorming with me on this entry. Always a pleasure to talk to you about our religion, Amber. :) :) :) I love you.

Dance Like No One's Watching

2011-03-03T07:44:00.000-06:00

mood: sleepy

craving: cheesecake factory with my kids and good friends.

Salam Alykom my dear Muslim readers and Hello to all my non-Muslim readers out there, I hope everyone is having a GREAT week. I can't believe Friday is almost here. =) The entry today will be very refreshing. I hope everyone has a wonderful day and week. =)))))

Dance Like No One's Watching

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are. After that we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.

We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire. The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges.

It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. One of my favorite quotes comes from Alfred D Souza. He said,

"For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."

This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have. And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time... and remember that time waits for no one...

So stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you are off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you've had a drink, until you've sobered up, until you die, until you are born again to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy...

Thought for the day:

Work like you don't need money,
Love like you've never been hurt,
And dance like no one's watching.

--- Author Unknown

final whisper: Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

A STAR is born....

2011-02-25T15:48:00.000-06:00

mood: on cloud 9

craving: my weekend with my kids..

Salam Alykom my beautiful Muslim followers and a BIG Hola to all my AWESOME non-Muslim followers. I hope y'all had a GREAT week. I know the weekend started in the Middle East already. But, it started here, today. :) :) :) Now, on to my exciting entry.

Almost seventeen years ago, a star was born. I would have to say, I'm a little bias because that star is my daughter. Now, I don't think there is anyone on this earth as proud of her as I am. After all, I carried her for almost ten months and gained a million pounds/kilos. After she was born, I had to work out extra hard to get that baby weight off. But, in spite of all that, I still love and adore her.

If I do say so myself, I've done a damn awesome job raising her, of course with the help of her step father. Thanks Abu Azooz (The father of Abdul Aziz..) May Allah (God) reward you and make your life happy always ameen.

She's extraordinary, worldly, charismatic, a leader, tactful, steadfast, resourceful, sincere, committed, knowledgeable and above all with a fine memory, sense of wit and humor and a bundle of common sense. Need I say more? Ana Bahebak (i love you in Arabic العربية ), ya Amber. te Amo, mi amor.

The good news is.

My daughter is ranked 8th out of her sophomore class of 482! Her GPA (Grade Point Average) is 100.14... I'm so proud!!!!!!! She's going places in her life. If you had a five minute conversation with her, you wouldn't believe her mind. I always call her a old soul. We have had the best conversations since being back from the middle east. She's grown up a lot and has shown me a different side of her. I pray that Allah (God) guides her always, gives her a good life and always continues to go the straight path. I pray that she always knows she's worthy of being loved and respected. I better stop typing, or I would be here all day long. Bottom line, I have a awesome daughter. =)))

Texan after UAE

Thinking of you... Always...

A much needed vacation...

A couple reasons why I choose to become Muslim. Islam is my life..

He has set free the two seas meeting together. There is a barrier between them. They do not transgress. (Quran, 55:19-20)

The Quran on Human Embryonic Development:

Always have faith in God because with hardship comes ease.

Favorite pictures and Quotes..

Happy 40th UAE

God take me where I belong..

A sad day for my kids and I.

Inside my head..

I have confidence in who I am. I may not always BE confident in life, but I know who I am inside, and I love me. :)

❤

❤ final whisper: Congratulations dad! ❤

♥℘.s. Æ ℓ٥ﻻ ﻉ√٥υ♥

❤

The Strange Quiet

Things that make me feel beautiful. :)

The wind of love

final whisper: Where flowers bloom so does hope.

I waited so long to meet you

Sundays, manic Sundays...

Eid , Texan style

New location for my all sisters forum

We're okay......

Dreams and beauty

Spread the Word!

Green birds

mood: empathetic

But you may dislike something which is good for you, and you may like something which is bad for you. Allah knows while you do not know. [Noble Quran 2:216]

We are proud...

The Quran will always be in my heart...

Go here to see what the Quran is.. :)

some things to ponder about... :)

The story beind every picture..

You're never out of my mind

Today marks the 15th year I stopped seeing your beautiful face. I miss you, Mom. ♥

just a small moment

Behind closed doors..

❤✿ツ

❝Don't change yourself for somebody else. If they don't like the way you are, then find somebody that will love every one of your imperfections.❞

final whisper:❝Take Risks in Your Life"If u Win, U Can Lead!If u Loose, U Can Guide!❞

How do you heal a broken heart?

Some more thoughts...

A new beginning...

No One Really Wins

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Not without my son

Another random dose of the Muslim Texan..

Sunday, dear Sunday...

It feels so right...

final whisper: Love ya Renee foreva & eva.. xoxoxoxoxox's

All good things come to those who wait...

For truly with hardship comes ease; truly with hardship comes ease.

( Quran; Surat al-Inshirah: 5-6)

.........and finally I feel alive. ♥

final whisper: patience is a virtue...Patience is the companion of wisdom..Patience and fortitude conquer all things..

My eyes are opening little by little.

Missed y'all... :) :) :)... Random post about different things.

Thank YOU.., gracias , shukran

As much as I try...

Where is the good in goodbye?

The letter.....

Stay..

One God!

Always be who you are....

Why is Friday so special to us Muslims?

My baby boy is three years old.. :) :) :)

17 yrs went so fast...

Making a difference in someone's life...

PHOTOMANIA....

Thought for Thursday..

If you really knew me, you would know....

The BEST news ever!

Dear Mr. Jim Glass.. :)

Dance Like No One's Watching

A STAR is born....

If I do say so myself, I've done a damn awesome job raising her, of course with the help of her step father. Thanks Abu Azooz (The father of Abdul Aziz..) May Allah (God) reward you and make your life happy always ameen.

The good news is.

final whisper:❝Take Risks in Your Life"
If u Win, U Can Lead!
If u Loose, U Can Guide!❞